“Indeed, your honour,” said the Corporal, “I have been over head and ears; but that was afore I learnt to swim. Love’s very like bathing. At first we go souse to the bottom, but if we’re not drowned, then we gather pluck, grow calm, strike out gently, and make a deal pleasanter thing of it afore we’ve done. I’ll tell you, Sir, what I thinks of love: ‘twixt you and me, Sir, ‘tis not that great thing in life, boys and girls want to make it out to be; if ‘twere one’s dinner, that would be summut, for one can’t do without that; but lauk, Sir, Love’s all in the fancy. One does not eat it, nor drink it; and as for the rest,—why it’s bother!”
“Bunting, you’re a beast,” said Walter in a rage, for though the Corporal had come off with a slight rebuke for his sneer at religion, we grieve to say that an attack on the sacredness of love seemed a crime beyond all toleration to the theologian of twenty-one.
The Corporal bowed, and thrust his tongue in his cheek.
There was a pause of some moments.
“And what,” said Walter, for his spirits were raised, and he liked recurring to the quaint shrewdness of the Corporal, “and what, after all, is the great charm of the world, that you so much wish to return to it?”
“Augh!” replied the Corporal, “‘tis a pleasant thing to look about un with all one’s eyes open; rogue here, rogue there—keeps one alive;—life in Lunnon, life in a village—all the difference ‘twixt healthy walk, and a doze in arm-chair; by the faith of a man, ‘tis!”
“What! it is pleasant to have rascals about one?”
“Surely yes,” returned the Corporal drily; “what so delightful like as to feel one’s cliverness and ‘bility all set an end—bristling up like a porkypine; nothing makes a man tread so light, feel so proud, breathe so briskly, as the knowledge that he’s all his wits about him, that he’s a match for any one, that the Divil himself could not take him in. Augh! that’s what I calls the use of an immortal soul—bother!”
Walter laughed.
“And to feel one is likely to be cheated is the pleasantest way of passing one’s time in town, Bunting, eh?”