“Ay, but I have never, since then, spoken to you on that subject. I did not dare. It seems to me so natural that a man, in the earlier struggle between love and reason, should say, ‘Reason shall conquer, and has conquered;’ and yet—and yet—as time glides on, feel that the conquerors who cannot put down rebellion have a very uneasy reign. Answer me not as at Moleswich, during the first struggle, but now, in the after-day, when reaction from struggle comes.”
“Upon my honour,” answered the friend, “I have had no reaction at all. I was cured entirely, when I had once seen Jessie again, another man’s wife, mother to his child, happy in her marriage; and, whether she was changed or not,—very different from the sort of wife I should like to marry, now that I am no longer a village farrier.”
“And, I remember, you spoke of some other girl whom it would suit you to marry. You have been long abroad from her. Do you ever think of her,—think of her still as your future wife? Can you love her? Can you, who have once loved so faithfully, love again?”
“I am sure of that. I love Emily better than I did when I left England. We correspond. She writes such nice letters.” Tom hesitated, blushed, and continued timidly, “I should like to show you one of her letters.”
“Do.”
Tom drew forth the last of such letters from his breast-pocket.
Kenelm raised himself from the grass, took the letter, and read slowly, carefully, while Tom watched in vain for some approving smile to brighten up the dark beauty of that melancholy face.
Certainly it was the letter a man in love might show with pride to a friend: the letter of a lady, well educated, well brought up, evincing affection modestly, intelligence modestly too; the sort of letter in which a mother who loved her daughter, and approved the daughter’s choice, could not have suggested a correction.
As Kenelm gave back the letter, his eyes met his friend’s. Those were eager eyes,—eyes hungering for praise. Kenelm’s heart smote him for that worst of sins in friendship,—want of sympathy; and that uneasy heart forced to his lips congratulations, not perhaps quite sincere, but which amply satisfied the lover. In uttering them, Kenelm rose to his feet, threw his arm round his friend’s shoulder, and said, “Are you not tired of this place, Tom? I am. Let us go back to England to-morrow.” Tom’s honest face brightened vividly. “How selfish and egotistical I have been!” continued Kenelm; “I ought to have thought more of you, your career, your marriage,—pardon me—”
“Pardon you,—pardon! Don’t I owe to you all,—owe to you Emily herself? If you had never come to Graveleigh, never said, ‘Be my friend,’ what should I have been now? what—what?”