BARON (modestly, and with a moralizing air).—“I have some experience in such matters, and I hold it a duty to assist the parents and relations of young men who, from want of reflection, often ruin themselves for life. I hope the young gentleman in question is not in the hands of the Jews?”
RANDAL.—“Christians are as fond of good interest for their money as ever the Jews can be.”
BARON.—“Granted, but they have not always so much money to lend. The first thing, sir” (addressing the squire),—“the first thing for you to do is to buy up such of your relation’s bills and notes of hand as may be in the market. No doubt we can get them a bargain, unless the young man is heir to some property that may soon be his in the course of nature.”
RANDAL.—“Not soon—Heaven forbid! His father is still a young man,—a fine healthy man,” leaning heavily on Levy’s arm; “and as to post-obits—”
BARON.—“Post-obits on sound security cost more to buy up, however healthy the obstructing relative may be.”
RANDAL.—“I should hope that there are not many sons who can calculate, in cold blood, on the death of their fathers.”
BARON.—“Ha, ha! He is young, our friend Randal; eh, sir?”
RANDAL.—“Well, I am not more scrupulous than others, I dare say; and I have often been pinched hard for money, but I would go barefoot rather than give security upon a father’s grave! I can imagine nothing more likely to destroy natural feeling, nor to instil ingratitude and treachery into the whole character, than to press the hand of a parent, and calculate when that hand may be dust; than to sit down with strangers and reduce his life to the measure of an insurance-table; than to feel difficulties gathering round one, and mutter in fashionable slang, ‘But it will be all well if the governor would but die.’ And he who has accustomed himself to the relief of post-obits must gradually harden his mind to all this.”
The squire groaned heavily; and had Randal proceeded another sentence in the same strain, the squire would have wept outright. “But,” continued Randal, altering the tone of his voice, “I think that our young friend, of whom we were talking just now, Levy, before this gentleman joined us, has the same opinions as myself on this head. He may accept bills, but he would never sign post-obits.”
BARON (who, with the apt docility of a managed charger to the touch of a rider’s hand, had comprehended and complied with each quick sign of Randal’s).—“Pooh! the young fellow we are talking of? Nonsense. He would not be so foolish as to give five times the percentage he otherwise might. Not sign post-obits! Of course he has signed one.”