“Then let me change the things that I have bought. They seemed high and noble, especially the White Love.”
“Yes, you shall change them. You did not value the Love because it was noble, but because it made you feel noble.”
“And what shall I buy for myself?”
“Nothing. If you had kept the goods that you ordered, you would have made a little flutter on an indescribably small portion of a rather insignificant world. You would have been called the great poet, the eminent statesman, and it would not have helped you any further—it would not have raised you any higher. Your nature would still have been bounded on the earth by earthly possibilities. No, you shall buy nothing for yourself. There is only one step that you can take that will bring you nearer me. There is only one thing that you can do that has a real value.”
“You mean self-denial,” I said. “I will obey you. I surrender all that I had bought. You shall give me instead the best thing for some one else—for whom?”
“For your own father.”
I bent my head in shame. It was a subject of which I could hardly bear to speak; but she with great tenderness, laying one of her little hands softly and caressingly on mine, dropped her voice almost to a whisper.
“Yes, for your father. My poor boy, there are no secrets between you and me. There is to be no shame between you and me. I know all. In the same asylum where your grandfather died your father now lies. His reason is gone. A horrible darkness has come over his mind. He lies there moaning and——”
“Stop!” I cried. “For pity’s sake say no more. You are right. Give me the best thing for him.”
“It shall be so,” she said. “And now the end of your time here grows near. But you have taken the first step. You and I have advanced a little further towards the sacred unity of the new love. Come, let us go and look down at the stars, and I will tell you about them.”