“... not derogatory to the national sense—(cheers)—of what is the fittest, the truest, and the best way—(renewed applause)—of proving to those who at one time may have thought otherwise, that, in spite of all preconceived opinions, which, if they are not praiseworthy—and I do not say they are so—yet may with some show of justice—(hear, hear)—be asserted to have had their origin in a sentiment felt by humanity at large, and more especially by the English-speaking races, and to which we to-night, with the generosity of the conquerors towards the conquered—(loud cheers)—can well afford to extend our fullest indulgence. It is not only in the family but in a man’s public capacity; not only by the fireside, but also beneath that fiercer light that beats upon the high offices of this nation—(loud and prolonged cheering)—not only with the....”
I would have given anything to have gone on a little further. I do not even know what my politics were, although I am inclined to form an opinion from internal evidences in my speech. But I never in all my life felt such a delightful sense of exhilaration, triumph, and power. When I came to, I found myself seated on the floor of the grocery, perspiring profusely.
“Oh, that was good,” I exclaimed, “very good!” I picked myself up, and inquired eagerly what the price was, and how it was sold.
“It is expensive,” said Mr. Joseph, solemnly, “very expensive; and we sell it in bursts.”
I did not like to ask for further details. I expected that Mr. Joseph would give me a reasonable amount of credit, and with the literary fame that I intended to buy I thought that I should soon be able to pay for everything. But I thought it wise to order only two bursts of the “Political Success.”
“Mr. Joseph,” I said, “I hardly know what to order next. I should like to have a price-list, and a week to think it over. I never bought anything abstract before. At present I’ve got only some ‘Disinterested Love’ and some ‘Political Success’; do you think you could let me have some Literary Fame, Musical Ability, Personal Charm, Popularity, and Contentment?”
“It’s a large order,” said Mr. Joseph, “but we will do our best to execute it. James, will you see about those articles?”
“I will,” said James.
“And when shall I have them?”
There was no answer.