It is the curious property of well-directed inquiry into any branch of natural knowledge, that the thirst for such investigations generally goes on increasing with the indulgence; and what is equally or more to the purpose, the motives to perseverance are proportionably augmented. I believe there are few exceptions to this rule; and I think it may be observed, that, in the navy, precisely as an officer rises in the service, so his means of travelling to good purpose are improved likewise. As he advances in rank, his introductions to society become more easy and extensive, and his facilities for seeing strange things are multiplied at every step, till at length, when he arrives at the command of a ship, he finds himself in one of the most agreeable situations, perhaps, that the nature of things admits of, for viewing the world to advantage.
It must be recollected, too, that the chief interest of most countries, and especially of new countries, lies on their sea-coasts, where the first towns are naturally erected. In those cases where this rule does not hold good, naval officers often contrive to visit the interior: and wherever they go, they are sure of a hearty welcome, and a ready access to all that is worthy of investigation. Their best passport, in fact, is their uniform—their best letters of introduction, the columns of the navy list; and if in any case they fail to profit by the opportunities thus placed within their reach, the fault lies with the dull nature of the particular parties themselves, and not with their glorious profession. In all probability, the very same persons who, as officers, can turn their naval life to no account in the way of travelling, would have done no better in any other situation in life.
This reminds me of a tailor at Halifax, who, on being sadly provoked by some of the scampish band amongst us, for not paying his abominably long bills, said, in a rage, in the cock-pit before us all, that after having tried his son in half a dozen professions, without any chance of success, he was now resolved, as a last resource, to make a midshipman of him! This sarcasm was uttered during the short peace of Amiens, when we first visited Halifax,—a period when the mids had so little real business to attend to, that they seized eagerly upon any opening for a joke. As soon, therefore, as the tailor had quitted the ship, it was resolved to punish him for his uncourteous speech.
It had not escaped the notice of his tormentors, that this vulgar fraction of his species prided himself, in a most especial degree, on the dignity of a very enormous tail or queue, which reached half-way down his back; and it was resolved in secret council, that this appendage should be forthwith docked.
Nothing, I must fairly own, could be more treacherous than the means devised to lower the honour and glory of the poor tailor. He was formally invited to dinner with us; and, being well plied with grog, mixed according to the formidable rule for making what is called a North-wester, which prescribes that one half of each glass shall consist of rum, and the other half of rum and water, our poor guest was soon brought under the table. Being then quite incapable of moving, he was lifted in noisy triumph out of the birth, and placed in the tier, across the bends of the small bower cable, where, after many a grunt and groan at the rugged nature of his couch, he at length fell asleep.
His beautiful tail, the pride of his life! was presently glued by means of a lump of pitch to the strands of the cable; and such was the tenacity of the substance, that in the morning, when, on the daylight gun being fired directly over his head, poor snip awoke, he could no more detach himself from the spot on which he lay, than could Lemuel Gulliver in like circumstances. His noddle was still so confused, that he knew not where he lay, nor what held him down. After tugging at his hair for a minute or two, he roared out lustily for help. One of the mids, seized with the brilliant idea of making the tailor the finisher of his own fate, hurried to his assistance, and, handing him a knife, roared out, “by all means to make haste, as the devil had got hold of him by the tail!”
The poor tradesman, terrified out of his wits, and in great horror at his mysterious situation, instantly did as he was desired, and cut away lustily, little dreaming that his own rash hand was shearing the highest and most cherished honours of his house! On turning round, he beheld with dismay the ravished locks, which, for half a century and more, had been the joint delight of himself and his tender partner Rebecca. As the thought of returning tail-less to his home crossed his half-bewildered brain, he exclaimed, in agony of spirit, to his malicious tormentors—“Oh Lord! oh Lord! I am a lost man to my Becky!”
The revenge of the malicious middies was now complete; and this expression of being a ‘lost man to one’s Becky’ became a byword in the ship, for many years afterwards, to denote the predicament of any one who got into a scrape, and came out of it with loss.
CHAPTER IV.
BERMUDA IN THE PEACE.
The Leander was a fifty-gun ship, and well known to the profession, as having formed one of the line of battle in the action of the Nile, though not strictly of that class, and for having afterwards maintained a glorious, though unsuccessful fight with a large French seventy-four, the Généreux, by which she was taken when on her way to England with Nelson’s despatches. She was a pretty ship of her class, and became permanently endeared to the memory of all who sailed on board, especially to those who first went to sea in her, and there found a practical illustration of the beautiful thought—that our ‘march is on the mountain wave, our home is on the deep.’