“You mean that you balk at marriage in any case.”
“I mean that I balk at marriage with any of the men I’ve been engaged to. I must say that; and I can’t say more.”
During another brief silence I surmised that Regina Barry had seated herself before the dressing-table and was probably doing something to her hair. I wish I could say here that in my eavesdropping I experienced a sense of shame; but I can’t. Whatever creates a sense of shame had been warped in me. The moral transitions that had turned me into a burglar had been gradual but sure. With the gold-mesh purse in my pocket a burglar I had become, and I felt no more repugnance to the business than I did to that of the architect. Notwithstanding the natural masculine interest these young ladies stirred in me, I meant to wait till they had separated—gone to bed—and fallen asleep. Then I would slip out from my hiding-place, swipe the brooch or the chain that had been thrown on the desk, and go.
“What was the matter with the first man?” Elsie began again.
“I don’t know whether it was the matter with him or with me. I didn’t trust him.”
“I should say that was the matter with him. And the next man?”
“Nothing. I simply couldn’t have lived with him.”
“And what’s wrong with Stephen is that he’s no more than very nice. I see.”
“Oh no, you don’t see, dear! There’s a lot more to it than all that, only I can’t explain it.” I fancied that she wheeled round in her chair and faced her companion. “The long and short of it is that I’ve never met the man with whom I could keep house. I can fall in love with them for a while—I can have them going and coming—I can welcome them and say good-by to them—but when it’s a question of all welcome and no good-by—well, the man’s got to be different from any I’ve seen yet.”