She was pacing up and down the little reception room, and rubbing her hands together, while the twisting of the fish-tail of her hydrangea-colored robe, like an eel in agony, emphasized her agitation. Rashleigh was seated, his elbows on his knees, his head bowed between his hands, of which the fingers clutched and tore at the masses of his hair. Only when he spoke did he lift his woe-begone black eyes.
“Well, I didn’t control myself,” he admitted, impatiently; “that’s settled. Why go back to it? The question is––”
“Yes; why go back to it? That’s you all over, Rash. You can do what no one else in his senses 292 would ever think of doing; and when you’ve upset the whole apple cart it must never be referred to again. I’m to accept, and keep silence. Well, I’ve kept silence. I’ve gone all winter like a muzzled dog. I’ve wheedled that girl, and kow-towed to her, and made her think I was fond of her—which I am in a way—you may not believe it, but I am—and what’s the result? She gets sick of the whole business; runs away; and you come here and throw the whole blame on me.”
He tried to speak with special calmness. “Barbe, listen to me. What I said was this––”
She came to a full stop in front of him, her arms outspread. “Oh, Rash, dear, I know perfectly well what you said. You don’t have to go all over it again. I’m not deaf. If you would only not be so excitable––”
He jumped to his feet. “I’m excitable, I know, Barbe. I confess it. Everybody knows it. What I’m trying to tell you is that I’m not excited now.”
She laughed, a little mocking laugh, and started once more to pace up and down. “Oh, very well! You’re not excited now. Then that’s understood. You never are excited. You’re as calm as a mountain.” She paused again, though at a distance. “Now? What is it you’re going to do? That’s what you’ve come to ask me, isn’t it? Are you going to run after her? Are you going to let her go? Are you going to divorce her, if she gives you the opportunity? If you divorce her are you going to––?”
“But, Barbe, I can’t decide all these questions now. What I want to do is to find her.”
“Well, I haven’t got her here? Why don’t you go after her? Why don’t you apply to the police? Why don’t you––?”