When a young man of the people wishes to offer his heart and hand to the maiden of his choice, he does not accomplish the deed himself, but appoints as his spokesman opordsmannen, a man of consequence in the district, a relation if possible. Together they go to the house of the desired one's parents. First they interview the father, all standing. If the father agrees to consult his wife a good sign has been given, and the opordsmann seats himself. Settlements and dowry are discussed, and finally the girl herself is consulted. If she consents to shake hands with her lover the engagement is a settled thing. All seat themselves for refreshments, and the party drink healths out of the best silver mug. Without waiting for the ceremony, the young couple take possession of the best room; and they are looked upon as man and wife. The morning after the contract the bridal pair are served with coffee and food in their room by the bride's parents.
This interview is always on a Saturday. In Telemarken the mode of procedure differs slightly. The spokesman, after consulting the girl's parents, goes to her room, and drags her out of bed and into the barn, where the suitor waits to receive her.
The mother of a friend once nearly had a very disagreeable experience. Her child's nurse was a Norwegian; the family were spending the summer in a hotel at Telemarken. In the night the lady's door was burst open, and in spite of protestations she was dragged out of bed by her wrists. Only the opportune arrival of her husband brought to light the fact that this violent attack was really intended for the courting of her nurse.
To return to the Hardanger bridal. Soon after this the nearest friends and relations are invited to the betrothal party, which is occasion for much eating and drinking, in about a fortnight. During the interval the young lover presents to his mistress a wooden box carved or painted by himself, and containing all the jewellery he can afford to present to her; and the damsel prepares for her gift to him embroidered braces and a belt. Though maidenly modesty refuses to acknowledge it, these articles of attire have been in preparation for many months. The saying goes that he who weds a girl who is "getting on" will have the best supply of braces and belts.
The wedding proper is usually in the summer. Invitations must be given in person at least a fortnight in advance, and as far as possible on the same day, so that on comparing notes the guests may have no cause for complaint. These invitations are on a large scale. Everyone for miles round of the same social position as the bride's family is invited; so, of course, are all the relations of the happy couple. I am given to understand that caste prejudices are very strong in the country districts. If the child of a jaardemann (rich farmer) should insist on marrying into the family of a husmann (small tenant-farmer), the family of the rich farmer will refuse to have anything to do with the young people, or even to see their child again.
Preparations for feasting on an enormous scale are begun. Barrels of the native corn-brandy and a smaller quantity of cognac, together with kegs of mead and wine and abundance of beer, are provided to encourage the gaiety of the guests. Three or four days before the wedding the klejvekjaeringer arrive. These are eight or ten of the women friends of the family, who are invited to assist in the preparations and to attend to the guests during the feast. It is looked upon as a great honour to be invited in this capacity. Cooking begins in hot earnest. Piles of cakes are made of rye and milk. Stalks of fladbrod—pancakes of a kind—are representative standbys. Mountains of bread and raw smoked meat are cut up. The ox and pig, which have been killed in anticipation, are made ready. Cylinders of butter, weighing from twelve to fourteen pounds, are placed at intervals on the board; the guests will help themselves, smearing their bread and cakes with it and then sprinkling sugar over.
Two days beforehand arrives the kjogemester. Each district possesses an official of that kind, who is paid for his services. He is chief steward and master of ceremonies. On him falls the responsibility of placing all the guests in the order of precedence. As if this were not enough for one man, he has also control over the drinks, and during the festivities is liable to be called upon at any moment to make various speeches in extemporised verse.
The day before the wedding the servants of the guests arrive. They are laden with presents, mostly of food and drink. They are shown into the stabur (storehouse), where the presents and wedding clothes are on view, given food and drink, and allowed to go their ways home.
