'But do not think our life is aimless;
O no! we crave one blessed boon,
It is the prize of value nameless,
The honored, classic WOODEN SPOON;
But give us this, we'll shout Hurrah!
O nothing like Audacia!'
"After the speeches are concluded and the music has ceased, the President rises and calls the name of the hero of the evening, who ascends the stage and stands before the high dignitary. The President then congratulates him upon having attained to so eminent a position, and speaks of the pride that he and his associates feel in conferring upon him the highest honor in their gift,—the Wooden Spoon. He exhorts him to pursue through life the noble cruise he has commenced in College,—not seeking glory as one of the illiterate,—the [Greek: oi polloi],—nor exactly on the fence, but so near to it that he may safely be said to have gained the 'happy medium.'
"The President then proceeds to the grand ceremony of the evening, —the delivery of the Wooden Spoon,—a handsomely finished spoon, or ladle, with a long handle, on which is carved the name of the Class, and the rank and honor of the recipient, and the date of its presentation. The President confers the honor in Latin, provided he and his associates are able to muster a sufficient number of sentences.
"When the President resumes his seat, the Third Colloquy man thanks his eminent instructors for the honor conferred upon him, and thanks (often with sincerity) the class for the distinction he enjoys. The exercises close with music by the band, or a burlesque colloquy. On one occasion, the colloquy was announced upon the programme as 'A Practical Illustration of Humbugging,' with a long list of witty men as speakers, to appear in original costumes. Curiosity was very much excited, and expectation on the tiptoe, when the colloquy became due. The audience waited and waited until sufficiently humbugged, when they were allowed to retire with the laugh turned against them.
"Many men prefer the Wooden Spoon to any other college honor or prize, because it comes directly from their classmates, and hence, perhaps, the Faculty disapprove of it, considering it as a damper to ambition and college distinctions."
This account of the Wooden Spoon Exhibition was written in the year 1851. Since then its privacy has been abolished, and its exercises are no longer forbidden by the Faculty. Tutors are now not unfrequently among the spectators at the presentation, and even ladies lend their presence, attention, and applause, to beautify, temper, and enliven the occasion.
The "Wooden Spoon," tradition says, was in ancient times presented to the greatest glutton in the class, by his appreciating classmates. It is now given to the one whose name comes last on the list of appointees for the Junior Exhibition, though this rule is not strictly followed. The presentation takes place during the Summer Term, and in vivacity with respect to the literary exercises, and brilliance in point of audience, forms a rather formidable rival to the regularly authorized Junior Exhibition.—Songs of Tale, Preface, 1853, p. 4.
Of the songs which are sung in connection with the wooden spoon presentation, the following is given as a specimen.
"Air,—Yankee Doodle.
"Come, Juniors, join this jolly tune
Our fathers sang before us;
And praise aloud the wooden spoon
In one long, swelling chorus.
Yes! let us, Juniors, shout and sing
The spoon and all its glory,—
Until the welkin loudly ring
And echo back the story.