They brew'd for other Countries as well as their own; and for the Small Beer they sent abroad, they receiv'd large Returns of Westphaly-Hams, Neats-Tongues, Hung-Beef, and Bolonia-Sausages, Red Herrings, Pickled Sturgeon, Cavear, Anchovies, and every Thing that was proper to make their Liquor go down with Pleasure. Those who kept great Stores of Small Beer by them, without making use of it, were generally envied, and at the same Time very odious to the Publick; and No body was easy that had not enough of it to come to his own Share. The greatest Calamity they thought could befall them, was to keep their Hops and Barley upon their Hands; and the more they yearly consumed of them, the more they reckon'd the Country to flourish.
The Government had made very wise Regulations concerning the Returns that were made for their Exports; encouraged very much the Importation of Salt and Pepper, and laid heavy Duties on every Thing that was not well season'd, and might any ways obstruct the Sale of their own Hops and Barley. Those at Helm, when they acted in Publick, shew'd themselves on all Accounts exempt and wholly divested from Thirst; made several Laws to prevent the Growth of it, and punish the Wicked who openly dared to quench it. If you examin'd them in their private Persons, and pry'd narrowly into their Lives and Conversations, they seem'd to be more fond, or at least drank larger Draughts of Small Beer than others, but always under Pretence that the Mending of Complexions required greater Quantities of Liquor in them, than it did in those they ruled over; and that what they had chiefly at Heart, without any Regard to themselves, was to procure great Plenty of Small Beer among the Subjects in general, and a great Demand for their Hops and Barley.
As No body was debarr'd from Small Beer, the Clergy made use of it as well as the Laity, and some of them very plentifully; yet all of them desired to be thought less Thirsty by their Function than others, and never would own, that they drank any, but to mend their Complexions. In their Religious Assemblies they were more sincere; for as soon as they came there, they all openly confess'd, the Clergy as well as the Laity, from the highest to the lowest, that they were Thirsty; that Mending their Complexions was what they minded the least, and that all their Hearts were set upon Small Beer and Quenching their Thirst, whatever they might pretend to the Contrary. What was remarkable is, that to have laid Hold of those Truths to any one's Prejudice, and made use of those Confessions afterwards out of their Temples, would have been counted very impertinent; and Every body thought it a heinous Affront to be call'd Thirsty, tho' you had seen him drink Small Beer by whole Gallons. The chief Topicks of their Preachers was the great Evil of Thirst, and the Folly there was in quenching it. They exhorted their Hearers to resist the Temptations of it, inveigh'd against Small Beer, and often told them it was Poyson, if they drank it with Pleasure, or any other Design than to mend their Complexions.
In their Acknowledgments to the Gods, they thank'd them for the Plenty of comfortable Small Beer they had received from them, notwithstanding they had so little deserv'd it, and continually quench'd their Thirst with it; whereas they were so thorowly satisfy'd, that it was given them for a better Use. Having begg'd Pardon for those Offences, they desired the Gods to lessen their Thirst, and give them Strength to resist the Importunities of it; yet, in the Midst of their sorest Repentance, and most humble Supplications, they never forgot Small Beer, and pray'd that they might continue to have it in great Plenty, with a solemn Promise, that how neglectful soever they might hitherto have been in this Point, they would for the Future not drink a Drop of it with any other Design than to mend their Complexions.
These were standing Petitions, put together to last; and having continued to be made use of without any Alterations for several Hundred Years together, it was thought by Some, that the Gods, who understood Futurity, and knew, that the same Promise they heard in June, would be made to them the January following, did not rely much more on those Vows, than we do on those waggish Inscriptions by which Men offer us their Goods, To Day for Money, and to Morrow for Nothing. They often began their Prayers very mystically, and spoke many Things in a spiritual Sense; yet they never were so abstract from the World in them, as to end One without beseeching the Gods to bless and prosper the Brewing Trade in all its Branches, and, for the Good of the Whole, more and more to increase the Consumption of the Hops and Barley.
This Parable likewise has been very displeasing to my Enemies, yet they never complain'd of it, nor ever shew'd their Resentment against those Passages, where their Frailties were most exposed. But the true Grievance not being to be named, their next Care was to hinder the Spreading of my Animadversions upon them; that what I had said might not be read by Many; and accordingly, giving the Book an ill Name, and making some imperfect Quotations from it, they procure, as I have said before, the Grand Jury's Presentment against it. But this being now-a-Days the wrongest Way in the World to stifle Books, it made it more known, and encreas'd the Sale of it. This made some hot People raving mad; and now I began to be attack'd with great Fury from all Quarters; but as Nothing has appeared yet, that might not be easily answer'd from The Fable of the Bees it self, or the Vindication I have spoke of before, I have not hitherto thought fit to take Notice of any.
It was wrote for the Entertainment of idle People, and calculated for Persons of Education, when they are at Leisure and want Amusement; and therefore to ask Men of Business, or that have any Thing else to do, to read such an incoherent Rhapsody throughout, would be an unreasonable Request; at least, the Author himself ought to be more modest than to expect it: Yet I must beg Leave to say, that whoever has not done this, ought not to be so magisterial in his Censures, as Some have been on Passages the most justifiable in the World. It is impossible to say every Thing at once; and yet Every body, who has a Book before him, has the Liberty of opening and shutting it, when and where he pleases. There are many Things, which we entirely approve of, Part of which we disliked, before we were acquainted with the whole; and we ought always to consider, that Authors often reserve some Places on Purpose to clear up and explain others, that are difficult and obscure: Even when we meet with a Thing really offensive and no ways to be maintain'd, unless we read a Book through, we do not know but the Author has excepted against that very Passage himself; perhaps he has retracted, or begg'd Pardon for it.
It is hardly possible, that a Man of Candour and any tolerable Judgment, who seriously considers the Book, can be offended at it. In the First Place, he will find, that what I call Vices are the Fashionable Ways of Living, the Manners of the Age, that are often practis'd and preach'd against by the same People: Those Vices, that the Persons who are guilty of them, are angry with me for calling them so: The Decencies and Conveniencies, which my Adversaries are so fond of, and which, rather than forsake and part with, they would take Pains to justify. In the Second, That I address myself to the Voluptuous, whose greatest Delight is in this World; and, that when I speak to Others, that would be contented without Superfluities, and prefer Virtue and Honesty to Pomp and Greatness, I lay down quite different Maxims: That what I have said, Page 258, is true, viz. Tho' I have shewn the Way to Worldly Greatness, I have, without Hesitation, preferr'd the Road that leads to Virtue.
Should it be objected, that I was not in Earnest, when I recommended those mortifying Maxims, I would answer, That those, who think so, would have said the same to St. Paul, or Jesus Christ himself, if he had bid them sell their Estates and give their Money to the Poor. Poverty and Self-denial have no Allurements in Sight of my Enemies; they hate the Aspect and the very Thoughts of them, as much as they do me; and therefore, whoever recommends them must be in Jest. No Mathematical Demonstration is more true, than that to prohibit Navigation, and all Commerce with Strangers, is the most effectual Way to keep out Vice and Luxury: It is almost as true, that Citizens, and Men of Worth, who defend their own, and fight pro Aris & Focis, when once disciplin'd and inur'd to Hardship, are more to be depended upon than hired Troops and mercenary Soldiers. Let a Man preach this in London, and they'll say he is craz'd. But if Men won't buy Virtue at the Price it is only to be had at, Whose Fault is that?
I knew what People I had to deal with; and when I spoke of the Spartans and their Frugality, and how formidable they were to their Enemies, I said then, that such a Way of Living, and a Glory to be obtain'd by so austere a Self-denial, were not the Things which Englishmen wanted or desired. There are Twenty Passages in the Book to the same Purpose; but from this alone it is manifest, that, unless I was a Fool, or a Madman, I could have no Design to encourage or promote the Vices of the Age. It will be difficult to shew me an Author, that has exposed and ridicul'd them more openly. Breaches of the Law I have treated in a more serious Manner; and tho' it has been insinuated, that I was an Advocate for all Wickedness and Villany in General, there is no such Thing in the Book. I have said indeed, that we often saw an evident Good spring up from a palpable Evil, and given Instances to prove, that, by the wonderful Direction of unsearchable Providence, Robbers, Murderers, and the worst of Malefactors were sometimes made instrumental to great Deliverances in Distress, and remarkable Blessings, which God wrought and conferr'd on the Innocent and Industrious; but as to the Crimes themselves, I have never spoke of them, but with the utmost Detestation, and on all Occasions urg'd the great Necessity of punishing all, that are guilty of them, without Favour or Connivance.