“Yes: it has come to that with me. Why should I not envy him? His career has been upward throughout. He has been a successful worker in the world, where I have had nothing real to do. When the good things I had been dreaming of and longing for all my life came in his path, he had them for the mere asking. I valued them so highly that when I fancied I possessed them, I was the proudest of men. I am humble enough now that I am beggared.”
“You are really talking the greatest nonsense.”
“No doubt I am. Still in love, Marian, you see. There is no harm in telling you so now.”
“On the contrary, it is now that there is harm. For shame, Sholto!”
“I am not ashamed. I tell you of my love because now you can listen to me without uneasiness, knowing that it is no longer associated with hope, or desire, or anything but regret. You see that I do not affect the romantic lover. I eat very well; I play chess; I go into society; and you reproach me for growing fat.”
Marian bent over the chessboard for a moment to hide her face. Then she said in a lower voice, “I have thoroughly convinced myself that there is no such thing as love in the world.”
“That means that you have never experienced it.”
“I have told you already that I have never been in love, and that I dont believe a bit in it. I mean romantic love, of course.”
“I verily believe that you have not. The future has one more pang in store for me; for you will surely love some day.”
“I am getting too old for that, I fear. At what age, pray, did you receive the arrow in your heart?”