Lay Down Your Arms: The Autobiography of Martha von Tilling

by Bertha von Suttner

An hour or two after the settlement of the quarters the involuntary and self-invited guests made their entry into our house. We had been prepared for the event for several days, and Frau Walter had seen that all the guest chambers and beds were in readiness. The cook also had laid in plenty of provisions, and the cellar held a sufficient number of full barrels and old bottles. The Prussian gentlemen should not find any scarcity in our house.

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When the company in the château mustered in the drawing-room that day at the sound of the dinner-bell the room presented a brilliant and lively picture. The gentlemen, all excepting Minister “To-be-sure,” who was our guest for the moment, all in uniform, the ladies in full dress. For the first time for a long while we were all in our glory—Lori especially—the lively Lori—who had arrived that same day from Vienna, had, on the news that foreign officers were to be present, unpacked her fine dresses, and adorned herself with fresh roses. The object, no doubt, was to turn the head of one or other of the members of the enemy’s army. Well, as far as I was concerned she might have conquered the whole Prussian battalion, so she left Frederick undazzled. Lilly, the happy fiancée, wore a light blue robe. Rosa, who also seemed very happy to have the chance once more of showing herself off to young cavaliers, was dressed in pink muslin; and I, feeling that war time, even if one has no person to mourn, is always a time of mourning, put on a black dress.

I recollect still the singular impression which it made on me when I entered the drawing-room, in which the rest were already assembled. Glitter, cheerfulness, distinguished elegance, the well-dressed ladies, the smart uniforms—what a contrast to the scenes of woe, filth, and terror that I had seen so short a time since. And it is these same glittering, cheerful, elegant personages who of their own accord set this woe in motion, who refuse to do anything to abolish it, who on the contrary glorify it, and by means of their gold lace and stars testify the pride which they find in being the agents and props of this system of woe!

My entrance broke up the conversation which was being carried on in the different groups, since all our Prussian guests had to be introduced to me, most of them distinguished-sounding names ending in “ow” and in “witz,” many “vons,” and even a prince—one Henry—I don’t know of what number—of the house of Reuss.

Such then were our enemies! perfect gentlemen with the most exquisite manners in society. Well, certainly one knows as much as this: that if war is to be carried on at the present day with a neighbouring nation one has not to do with Huns and Vandals; but for all that it would be much more natural to think of the enemy as a horde of savages, and it requires some effort to look upon them as honourable and civilised citizens. “God, who drivest back by Thy mighty protection the adversaries of those who trust in Thee, hear us graciously as we pray for Thy mercy, so that the rage of the enemy having been suppressed we may praise Thee to all eternity.” This was the prayer daily offered by the priest at Grumitz. What conception must there have been formed by the common people of this “raging enemy”? Certainly not anything like these courteous noblemen who were now giving their arms to the ladies present to take them to dinner.... Besides this, God this time had listened to the prayer of the other side and had suppressed our rage—the foaming, murderous foe who through the might of the Divine protection (which, to be sure, we called the needle-gun) had been driven back were ourselves. Oh! what a pious concatenation of nonsense! I was thinking something to this effect as we were sitting down in a brilliant row at the table, adorned with flowers and dishes of fruit. The silver, too, had been brought out of its hiding-place at the order of the master of the house. I was seated between a stately colonel, ending in “ow,” and a tall lieutenant in “itz”; Lilly, of course, by her lover’s side. Rosa had been taken in to dinner by Prince Henry, and the naughty Lori had once again succeeded in getting my Frederick as her next-door neighbour. But what of that? I was not going to be jealous. He was assuredly my Frederick, my very own.

The conversation was very abundant and very lively. “The Prussians” evidently felt highly pleased, after the toils and privations they had gone through, to be sitting down again at a well-furnished table and in good company; and the consciousness that the campaign which was ended had been a victorious one must certainly have contributed to raise their spirits. But even we, the vanquished, did not allow anything of grudge or humiliation to appear, and did all we could to play the part of the most amiable of hosts. To my father it must have cost some self-control, as I could judge from knowing his sentiments, but he played his part throughout with exemplary courtesy. The one who was most dejected was Otto. It was visibly against the grain for him, with the hatred which he had been cherishing against the Prussians in these late days, with his eagerness to chase them out of the country, to have now to reach the pepper and salt for this same foe in the most polite manner, instead of being allowed to pierce him with a bayonet. The topic of the war was carefully avoided in the conversation; the foreigners were treated by us as if they had been pleasure-travellers who happened to be passing through our neighbourhood, and they themselves with still greater caution avoided even hinting at the real state of things—viz., that they were stationed here as our conquerors. My young lieutenant even tried, quite in earnest, to pay his court to me. He swore, by his honour and credit, that there was no such pleasant place in the world as Austria, and that there (shooting sidewards a needle-gun glance) the most charming women in the world were to be found. I do not deny that I too coquetted a little with the smart son of Mars, but that was to show Lori Griesbach and her neighbour that in a certain given case I was capable of having my revenge; the folks opposite, however, remained quite as undisturbed as I myself was really at the bottom of my heart. It would have been more reasonable and more to the purpose, however, if my dashing lieutenant had directed his killing glances to the fair Lori. Conrad and Lilly in their character of engaged persons (and such folks should really be always put behind a grating) exchanged loving glances quite openly, and whispered and clanked their glasses together by themselves, and played all sorts of other drawing-room turtle-dove tricks. And as it seemed to me a third flirtation began on the spot to develop itself. For the German prince—Henry the So and So—kept conversing in the most pressing way with my sister Rosa, and as it went on his countenance became a picture of the most unconcealed admiration.

When we rose from table, we went back into the drawing-room, in which the chandelier, which had now been lighted, diffused a festive glow.

The door on to the terrace was open. Outside was the warm summer night, flooded by the gentle light of the moon. The evening star shed its rays over the grassy expanse of the park, fragrant with hay, and mirrored itself in glittering silver on the lake which spread out in the background.... Could that really be the same moon which a short time ago had shown me the heap of corpses against the church wall surrounded by the shrieking birds of prey? And were these people inside—just then a Prussian lieutenant opened the piano to play one of Mendelssohn’s “Lieder ohne Worte”—could they be the same as were laying about them with their sabres a short time since to cleave men’s skulls?

After a time Prince Henry and Rosa came out too. They did not see me in my dark corner, and passed by me. They were now standing, leaning on the balustrade, near, very near each other. I even believe that the young Prussian—the foe—was holding my sister’s hand in his. They were speaking low, but still some of the prince’s words reached me. “Charming girl ... sudden, conquering passion ... longing for domestic happiness ... the die is cast ... for mercy’s sake do not say ‘No’. Do I then inspire you with disgust?” Rosa shook her head. Then he raised her hand to his lips and tried to put his arm round her waist. She, like a well-brought-up girl, disengaged herself at once.