The thought that we might be torn apart by the all-destroyer Death we put out of our minds. And yet at that time I was not very strong and I believe My Own felt some alarm about my condition. I had suddenly become so languid; it was hard for me to walk; after a few steps I became so dizzy that I could scarcely stand. My Own dragged me off to a physician; I say “dragged,” because all my life long I have been strenuously opposed to medical treatment. This physician gave me an examination and asked me all manner of questions and ordered—what do you suppose?
I will give the details because it is an interesting case. In the first place I followed his directions, which also was contrary to my custom; up to that time the only use I had made of medicine was to throw it out of the window. What is more, the treatment helped me. In a short time I became as healthy as a fish in water. Well then, what was the doctor’s prescription? Bicycling! [I], a heavy woman of fifty-six, who had never mounted a wheel, was now to attempt this schoolgirl’s sport! It was comical, but I did it. The prescription was tremendously tempting to me. It had always been my keen desire to enjoy this skimming away on the thin-legged iron steed, and I had regretted that I was born too early to experience this delight. Now it was imposed upon me as a duty to my health! I immediately bought a wheel, and one of the castle servants was appointed my instructor. He helped me to mount the thing and down I went. Up again, down again—twenty times in succession. That was my first lesson.
“Would it not be better to try a tricycle?” asked My Own solicitously, for he gained no confidence at all from this début. But I would not hear to it. “The doctor has prescribed bicycling and bicycling it shall be.”
With a persistence at which I myself am amazed I kept up my lessons; more and more infrequently the wheel wobbled, ever more and more rare were the trees against which I obstinately steered, and after a long course of instruction—I certainly am not going to confess how long—I attained such skill that I wheeled in great style through the avenues of the park and really made a very elegantly executed figure eight!
In doing this I felt perfectly well; the blood circulated with reinvigorated energy; dashing away on the wheel became to me a perfect delight; I had no more attacks of lassitude; I grew slenderer, and at the same time I had a feeling as if youth, youth were streaming through my veins!
Things in the Transvaal were going from bad to worse. People in England, worked upon through their passion, were demanding war. The London pacifists were putting forth their utmost endeavors to ward off the misfortune; they instituted meetings, they wrote to the papers; W. T. Stead established a new weekly, War against War,—all in vain. Any one who pleaded for peace was repudiated, scouted as a “Little Englishman,” if not even held up to scorn and derision as a traitor. Managers of halls would no longer permit the use of them for peace meetings, and if such gatherings were held they were broken up by turbulent mobs. Assaults even were committed. At a public meeting held by the Peace Association in Trafalgar Square, the orators were not only overwhelmed with insults but were attacked with projectiles. An open jackknife was hurled at Felix Moscheles, narrowly escaping his head.
In the meantime the second Dreyfus trial was held at Rennes, and with the same military fanaticism and partisanship as in the days when Esterhazy was glorified and Zola was persecuted with shouts of à l’eau! à l’eau! Now a furious anti-Dreyfusard even makes an attempt upon the life of the defendant’s lawyer, Labori. The court-martial condemns Dreyfus to death—but he is pardoned.
In Vienna a meeting is held at which Dr. Lueger declares, “Dreyfus belongs to the Devil’s Island and all the Jews as well.” This impelled my husband to call a counter meeting of his Union. The combat with popular frenzy and against national hatred is a hard, apparently quite hopeless, task, only just begun. Pain and indignation and a bitter sense of feebleness take possession of the combatant; but still there is nothing else for him to do—he must take up the fight. And since absolutely nothing in this world is lost, such protests certainly have their effect ultimately in their own way, even if they seem for the moment to be wasted.
In the German empire plans for a tremendous fleet are adopted. “Our future lies on the water,”—therefore enormous increase of armament on the sea. Exactly the opposite of what was at the foundation of the Hague Conference. Bloch writes me that Emperor William is said to have persuaded the Tsar that the peace cause—that is, in the form of an arbitration tribunal and the limitation of armaments (the German Emperor is surely in favor of preserving peace by the protection of the bayonet)—is directly contrary to dynastic interests.
The South African war breaks out. Our opponents cry scornfully, “So this is the result of the Hague Conference, is it?”