“I must deserve it—I must be worthy of this unheard-of good fortune—if I only knew how!”
She did not say that aloud. It was like a secret burden of indebtedness which she had to carry around with her. It would have to be paid—that was absolutely certain. Meantime, during this journey through her domains, she gave herself up to the irresistibly joyful pride which the thought, “mine, mine,” is wont to arouse in any heart.
She found the Vienna palace in perfect order; only a few slight alterations and refurnishings were necessary to render comfortable and tasteful her own suite of rooms. The domestics comprised the major-domo, who had been connected with the establishment for ten years, and his wife, who was installed as housekeeper. Franka had brought her own maid from the Sielenburg. The other servants were new people. Franka had also engaged a companion. Her name was Eleonore von Rockhaus, the daughter of a naval officer and the widow of a consul. She had seen much of the world, and was a perfect lady. Her age was about forty-five. Her hair was just beginning to turn gray, but she had a youthfully elastic figure, and delicate, friendly features; she was well read, almost an artist on the piano, an absolute mistress of French and English;—in short, she was a jewel of a companion and chaperon. Perhaps also she would prove to be a genuine friend, but as to that the future would tell. Provisionally, the two ladies were somewhat reserved in their intercourse ... first of all, they had to learn to know each other.
Franka did not open her heart to Eleonore von Rockhaus. What was beginning to become a fixed idea—that the wealth lavished upon her as by a gift of good fairies must be spent for some great purpose, that she herself must labor with her whole soul, with all her energies, with all her gifts of body and mind, so as to confer upon the world some advantage, some great blessing—this dream, as yet vague and unformulated, she did not confide to her companion. First she herself must go through a novitiate; in other words, test herself, acquire more knowledge, look about her, clarify her thoughts. She intended to question Helmer as to what reality there was behind the visions which he outlined in his letters. Yet even this she postponed. First she desired to gain some experience from intercourse with prominent men and women. To this end Dr. Fixstern might be useful to her. As a highly respected lawyer, he had a wide circle of acquaintances, among them scientists, artists, statesmen, and could bring the most interesting of them into the Garlett palace. As for “Society,” Franka had no ambition at all. During the first year of mourning, following her grandfather’s death, that, as well as attendance at concerts and theaters, would naturally be out of question; but besides, she felt no desire for it: she knew that it might divert her from the serious sacred duties to which she had consecrated herself, although without having as yet settled in her own mind what they should be.
It was four o’clock in the afternoon. The two ladies had come in from their daily walk in the Prater and were sitting in the little salon. A cheering warmth and a rosy glow radiated from the gas-log; the electric lights had not been turned on. It was pleasanter to rest and chat in the twilight.
“It is delicious here,” said Frau von Rockhaus, leaning back in the comfortable armchair. “I look forward with dismay to the time, probably not very distant, when you will be getting married and will no longer need me.”
“I am not contemplating being married—at least, not for some time yet.... I like my freedom. Were you happy in your marriage, Frau Eleonore?”
“Not so very. My husband played me false with the most exotic women. Besides, he was quarrelsome and very arbitrary. And yet, I liked him well enough. That was unfortunate, because for that very reason I was tormented with jealousy and suffered from his stern and cold behavior.”
“That seems to me the most terrible thing: an unloving or an unloved husband. I would only marry when I was certain that I loved the man with my whole heart, only when I knew that he was not after my money—but how can one know that? And then, besides, I cannot possibly marry yet awhile: I must remain my own mistress in order to accomplish a certain task.”
“A task? What?”