I have finished. I have really done more than lay down the outlines of the plan—I have also indicated some of the details.
Now you can test yourself; you can demand of your desires, of your conscience, whether a way has been indicated and whether you will follow it.
CHAPTER IX
FRANKA’S DÉBUT AND CAREER
Franka read the letter over a second and a third time—then she let it sink into her lap and fell into deep thoughts. She was sitting alone in her sleeping-room; on the table before her stood the breakfast-tray, and beside it her mail, as yet untouched. In the stove a cheerful fire was burning: the windows, through which could be seen the trees of the garden behind the palace, were open and warm sunbeams came laughing in, for it was already springtime. There was occasionally a cool breath of air, full of that spring fragrance which does not come from violets, but suggests violets. Such a breath fans in young hearts the fire of longing—longing for the joys of life.
Franka stood up, still holding the letter in her hand, and went to the window. She looked down into the garden; it was not large, and behind the still leafless trees could be seen the walls and roofs of the houses beyond....
“How lovely it must be now in my parks and forests,” thought Franka. Nothing would prevent her from journeying to them. A sense of pride in possession and of joyous freedom swelled her heart. The world lay open before her ... how easily, how freely might she not pluck all the blossoms of enjoyment. But she flung these thoughts away from her. “To accomplish something great”—that was her task, that was the aim, held up as a command before her conscience, and now she had in her hands what she wanted—a concrete programme, a definite way.
There were men in the world—there was one man—who regarded her with confidence and esteem, who had such a high idea of her that he believed she might be an apostle, a leader ... oh, if that only might be, if only she had the strength, the courage, and the fire to carry others along with her, to lift them up! And like an electric shock there flashed through her that lightning of the will which bears the name of resolve: “Yes, I will do it!”
She stepped from the window and stood in front of her great pier-glass as if to strengthen her resolution by means of a vow spoken in presence of herself. The mirror reflected a lovely picture. The tall, graceful, maidenly figure, clasped in the folds of a soft, white cashmere morning-gown, the head crowned by a heavy diadem of braids and proudly thrown back, the cheeks brilliantly colored, the dark-red lips slightly parted and showing the gleaming white teeth: so she stood for a little while, and then she repeated the sentence aloud again: “Yes, I will do it!”
Franka went to her desk and wrote a line or two, then she rang for her maid: “Send this dispatch immediately.” The telegram was addressed to Chlodwig Helmer and ran: “I expect you to-day for a further talk.”
Frau Eleonore entered the room: “Not yet dressed, dear Franka? And we have such a busy day before us! Look—I have jotted everything down: at eleven o’clock the betrothal-service of the Archduchess—we have cards admitting us to the Augustiner Church; then Drecoll expects you to try on three dresses—that will take at least two hours. There is the reception of the eight lady artists at Pisco’s—you promised to go, and we must be sure to see the exhibition of flowers at the Botanical Society—to-day is the last day. It is also Baroness Rinski’s jour; then....”