He had understood that Ernst had met some one at the railway station, as if by appointment.
Joseph, who was always so cool and collected, seemed remarkably nervous and excited.
I thought that he had perhaps seen Ernst after all, and was not telling us all that he knew; but he assured me, in a somewhat confused manner, that he had concealed nothing. He told me that he was out of sorts, simply because of the triumphant and malicious airs that the Alsatians had displayed. Business friends of his, among whom there was a deputy who seemed to be well posted, insisted upon it as a fact that the Prussian statesman had offered the French Emperor a considerable portion, if not all, of the left bank of the Rhine, on condition that the Emperor would not prevent him from using his own pleasure towards Germany, if conquered.
The left bank of the Rhine! How often I, too, while in Alsace had heard it said that France must take possession of this left bank, as a matter of course; for the Frenchmen thought themselves the lords of creation, with whom it was only necessary to express a wish in order to have it gratified.
Would I yet live to see the ruin of my Fatherland? At that very moment, Germans were battling against Germans, in order that the aims of France might be served.
I asked Joseph and Richard whether they could conceive of such a thing as a German selling and betraying his Fatherland.
We had no assurance of this, and thought it best to encourage each other's faith in humanity.
The failure of Joseph's mission had only served to arouse my own deep sorrow anew.
My son lost! When night came, I could not make up my mind to retire. For a long while, I sat gazing at the starry heavens, and the dark forest-covered mountains. Where is he now? Can it be possible that he is not thinking of us? He is in danger, and may work his own ruin. How gladly would I fly to his help, if I only knew how!
At last one goes to his couch, thinking: "To-morrow something definite must be done." But the morning comes, and the deed is left undone. Thou hast waited this long, and shalt wait still longer. And thus the days pass by, while naught is accomplished. When I lay awake at nights, thinking of my son, I felt as if with him; and when, by chance, other thoughts arose in my mind, the one great grief would thrust them aside. It seemed as if my soul had for a time left the body and had now returned to it again.