My sister wrote that in Alsace it was the general belief that there would now be a change. Bourbaki would strike down Germany. Her husband had hung up the pictures and epaulettes again; but with this proviso, that if the French would not deliver them this time, he would have nothing further to do with them, and would become a forester in Germany.
Bertha had returned to the capital, and wrote that the Colonel, with whom Rothfuss had remained, was again at the head of his regiment in the division that opposed Bourbaki's advance towards the Rhine.
At home, I found another cause for deep emotion; it was a letter for me from Ernst. It had been forwarded from the field by the army post. The paper showed the traces of many tears. I was so much overcome, every time I read the letter, that my children took it away from me; but I asked them to return it, and here it is:
"Dear Father and Mother:--See me prostrate at your feet; what I desired to do a thousand times, and again and again postponed, I must now finish.
"I know that, both for you and for me, my deeds have filled many days and nights--nay, whole years--with sadness. I cannot express in words what I have thought and felt while on the march in the hot sun, or at night when I looked up to the stars that shone also on my paternal home. And, oh! how, when on the march and parched with thirst, I longed for a drop of water from our fountain. I write with burning tears, but they cannot blot out the past, nor recall a single wasted hour. Lost! lost! I repent, I suffer deeply. You often told me, mother, 'You must curb your spirit.' I could not succeed in my peaceful home, although I had so many to help me you, father, Martella, my brothers and sisters. From afar, the sound of ardent prayer swells into an eager wail for redemption. I have wasted all. Am I a sacrifice to my country's misery? And now comes the most dreadful consequence of my misdeeds. We have received orders to take ship to fight against Germany. No, not against Germany. The old misery is here again with redoubled force. An officer has confided to me, that several of the lesser German states had called upon France to release them from the tyranny of Prussia.
"I had loaded my gun and pointed it at my head, but, thinking of you, I fired into the air.
"Is it my guilt, or am I but a drop in the stream that overflows its bed?
"O my parents! He who leaves his country is suspended in mid-air, and has no ground to stand upon. It is well that the end is near; but I wish you to know that my soul is with you at home. At this moment, I feel your hands on my head, blessing me.
"May Martella remain forever true! I can say nothing to her. Oh, Richard was in the right. How dared I, who was nothing for myself, bind another life to mine?
"I thank you a thousand times for all the kindness, all the love you bestowed upon me who am unworthy of it, and upon Martella who deserves it.