Did you ever stop to think, dear reader, that the hog of the present day is but a poor, degraded specimen of the true aboriginal hog, before civilization had encroached upon him? Then do not join the popular cry against him. Once he was pure as the beautiful snow.
THE BUCKNESS WHEREWITH THE BUCK BEER BUCKETH.
Buck beer is demoralizing in its tendency when it moveth itself aright. It layeth hold of the intellect and twisteth it out of shape.
My son, go not with them who go to seek buck beer, for at the last it stingeth like the brocaded hornet with the red-hot narrative, and kicketh like the choleric mule.
Who hath woe? Who hath babbling? Who hath redness of eyes? He that goeth to seek the schooner of buck beer.
Who hath sorrow? Who striveth when the middle watch of the night hath come, to wind up the clock with the 15 puzzle.
He that kicketh against the buck beer and getteth left.
Verily, the buckness of the buck beer bucketh with a mighty buck, insomuch that the buckee riseth at the noon hour with a head that compasseth the town round about, and the swellness thereof waxeth more and more, even from Dan to Beer—sheba. (Current joke in the Holy Land.)