Do you keep hens, or do you lavish your profanity on those of your neighbors?
Have any of your ancestors ever been troubled with ingrowing nails, or blind staggers?
What is your opinion of rats?
Are you a victim to rum or other alcoholic stimulants, and if so, at what hour do you usually succumb to the potent enemy?
Would you have any scruples in asking the enumerator to join you in wrestling with man's destroyer at that hour?
Do you eat onions?
Which side do you lie on while sleeping?
Which side do you lie on during a political campaign?
What is the chief end of man?
Are you single, and if so what is your excuse? Who will care for mother now?