"It's hard to speak unkindly of our parents, but mingled with my own remorse I shall always murmur to myself, and ask over and over, why did not my parents rescue me while they could? Why did they allow my chubby little feet to waddle down to the dangerous ground on which the sad-eyed youmorist must forever stand?
"Partner, do not forget what I have said to-day. Whether your child be a son or daughter, it matters not. Discourage the first sign of approaching humor. It is easier to bust the backbone of the first little tender jokelet that sticks its head through the virgin soil, than it is to allow the slimy folds of your son's youmorous lecture to be wrapped about you, and to bring your gray hairs with sorrow to the grave."
LARAMIE'S HANDKERCHIEF.
Laramie has the champion mean man. He has a Sunday handkerchief made to order with scarlet spots on it, which he sticks up to his nose just before the plate starts round, and leaves the church like a house on fire.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXXVI—THE SODA LAKES OF WYOMING.
The Lakes near Sheep Mountain—Three Tons of Soda at the Centennial—A Yield of 104,544 Tons of Soda per Annum—Should Provide an Income of $1,062,864,000 per Annum.