SURE CURE FOR BILIOUSNESS.
Whenever I get bilious and need exercise, I go over to the south end of town and vicariously hoe radishes for an hour or two till the pores are open, and I feel that delightful languor and the chastened sense of hunger and honesty which comes to the man who is not afraid to toil.
CHESTNUT-BURR VIII—IN AN UNGUARDED MOMENT BILL NYE IS CAPTURED BY A POLITICAL SIREN.
Decoyed by Honeyed Words He Essays to Purify Politics—The Inevitable Delegation from Irving Hall—An Unreserved Statement of Campaign Expenses—Some Items of a Momentous Canvass Disclosed.
I have only just returned from the new-made grave of a little boomlet of my own. Yesterday I dug a little hole in the back yard and buried in it my little boom, where the pie-plant will cast its cooling shadows over it and the pinch-bug can come and carol above it at eventide.
A few weeks ago a plain man came to me and asked me my name. Refreshing my memory by looking at the mark on my linen, I told him promptly who I was. He said he had resided in New York for a long time and felt the hour had now arrived for politics in this city to be purified. Would I assist him in this great work? If so, would I appoint a trysting place where we could meet and tryst? I suggested the holy hush and quiet of lower Broadway or the New York end of the East River bridge at 6 o'clock; but he said no, we might be discovered. So we agreed to meet at my house. There he told me that his idea was to run me for the State Senate this fall, not because he had any political axe to grind, but because he wanted to see old methods wiped out and the will of the people find true and unfettered expression.
"And, sir," I asked, "what party do you represent?"