An erroneous phrenologist once told me that I would shine as a revivalist, and said that I ought to marry a tall blonde with a nervous, sanguinary temperament. Then he said, “One dollar, please,” and I said, “All right, gentle scientist with the tawny mane, I will give you the dollar and marry the tall blonde with the bank account and bilious temperament, when you give me a chart showing me how to dispose of a brown-eyed brunette with a thoughtful cast of countenance, who married me in an unguarded moment two years ago.”
He looked at me in a reproachful kind of way, struck at me with a chair in an absent-minded manner and stole away.
The Approaching Humorist.
The following letter has been received, and, as it encloses no unsmirched postage stamp to insure a private reply, I take great pleasure in answering it in these pages:
Christiana, Kas., Sept. 22nd, 1884
Dear Sir.—I am studying for a Humorist. Could you help me to some of the Joliest Books that are written? With some of the best Jokes of the Day &c &c &c.
Also what it would be best for me to do for to become an Humorist.
I am said to be a Natural Born Humorist by my friends and all I need is Cultivation to make my mark.