A. I confess to thee that I did wish that till recently desire failed.
R. Desirest thou not a beautiful wife, and withal modest and well instructed and of good manners and subject to thy will, and one who hath much substance and would not engross thee in any thing, nor hinder thee from enjoying leisure at thy will?
A. Dost thou not praise her overmuch that I may wish her all the more? For methinks there is nothing worse for him that willeth to serve God than to take a wife—though some one hath said that it is better to take one for the rearing of children. Howbeit I say that it is better for priests not to have a wife. Therefore I decided that I would take none, because I wished to be the freer to serve God.
R. I hear now that thou dost not think to take a wife; but I would know whether thou still hast any love or lust after any uncleanness.
A. Why askest thou more about that? I do not now desire that; but if lust ever cometh to me, I dread it as an adder. Ever the less is my desire for it, and ever the more I wish to see the light, even as I lust the less after this manner.
R. How about food? How much dost thou desire that?
A. I desire none of those meats which I have renounced; I desire those which I have thought right to eat, when I see them. What shall I say more either about meat, or drink, or baths, or riches, or honor, or any worldly lusts? Nor do I wish any more of these than I shall need to have for my bodily comfort and to keep my strength. Howbeit I need much more for the wants of those men which I must take care of, and moreover this I needs must have.
R. Thou art right. But I would know whether thy old covetousness and greediness be entirely extirpated and uprooted from thy mind, so that it can not still grow.
A. Why askest thou that?
R. I speak of the things which thou before saidst to me that thou hadst decided to leave off and for nothing would turn back to again, namely: overmuch wealth, and immoderate honor, and inordinately rich and luxurious living; and therefore I now ask whether, either for the love of them or for the love of any thing, thou wilt return to them again. I heard formerly that thou saidst that thou lovedst thy friends, next to God and thine own reason, above other things. Now I would know whether thou, for their love, wouldst lay hold of these things again.