“But I’m not going, mother. Don’t you understand? I’ll see you as much as ever.”
“Why—why can’t I stay here?” In her despair, she pleaded frantically. “I’ll keep to myself—I—I won’t interfere with a thing. I won’t be in anyone’s way—I just want to be where I can see you—where I can be near you—should you need me! See, I’m throwing away all my pride, dear,” as she slipped to her knees, “and begging you to let me stay—because—I love you so—I love you so!”
“Hush, mother.” He lifted her from her knees, and wiped his eyes. “You’re making this very hard for me. You know I wouldn’t intentionally hurt you for the world. I’ve talked this over again and again with Kate—but she won’t have it any other way. I—I don’t know what to do.”
“It’s—all right, dear,” she whispered, but the tone was barely audible and broken. “It’s all right! I—I’ll go.”
“I know just as soon as you’re calm, mother, you will see things in a different light.”
“Yes, dear—I understand, dear!” she said quietly, but the voice was one of despair that the son did not recognize nor heed. “I’ll be calm and sensible! You want me to be——”
“Yes, dear. Please try—I’ll be back in a minute.” He went into his room and closed the door.
With a calmness that was appalling she sat where he had left her, staring in front of her with glassy eyes. How long it had been with her she did not know, but she slowly became conscious of the physical pain gnawing at her heart. Oh, how she welcomed it! She wanted it to hurt and hurt until it would carry her off, where she would be free from pain forever. In a moment’s time, there flashed before her a panoramic view of her life. Oh, God, how useless—how in vain—it had all been! And now (she stretched her arms out before her) she stood ready to go out into the future—alone! Alone! Alone!
CHAPTER XXII
“Out into the future—alone! Alone! Alone!” Marjorie Benton read the words aloud.