“Between overtaxing myself in my work and trying to keep up with the boys socially my system was drained. This was kept up for about five years. I was working for a dry cleaning establishment the owner of which did not appreciate my hard work. I gave ten hours a day service, but he required even more, so that I spent as many as fifteen and eighteen hours a day, and kept that up for about five years.
“It was in January, 1911, at the age of twenty while sitting in a restaurant eating my lunch, I felt a strange sensation coming over me, such as blood rushing to my head, followed by weakness, trembling, and fainting spells. I summoned up what will power I had left, shook my head in effort to brace up, and tried to finish my meal, but without success. I left the restaurant and coming outside felt the same sensation. I leaned against a building, and my knees gave way from under me until I was compelled to lie down. I made an attempt to get up, boarded a street car, and started for my father’s store which was about a mile down the street. As I stepped on the platform I felt the same spell coming over me. Some of the men standing on the back platform saw my condition, and helped me. I arrived at the store where I collapsed.
“An ambulance was called, and I was taken to the city hospital. The interne diagnosed the case as acute indigestion. He prescribed some soda tablets, and told me to be careful with my diet. I felt relieved at what he told me, because I thought it was not so serious as I had expected. For I thought the end was near. My brother who accompanied me spoke kind and encouraging words which soothed my nerves.
“On the street car my thoughts started to go over the whole of what had occurred. I could not control myself and gave way again. When I got home I could not eat. I lay down and tried to get some sleep, but sleep was out of the question. My thoughts always wandered back to these spells, and that would bring back another spell. I took the tablets prescribed by the physician, but they did not help me any.
“The next day I tried to go to work, but could not on account of these spells. I then decided to call our family physician. He told me it was a nervous breakdown, and prescribed bromides. I kept on having these spells in spite of the bromides. I was at a loss what to do. From then on I became afraid to venture anywhere, to go to any place, for fear of these spells. My real trouble began. I was afraid to live, and afraid to die, afraid to go out, afraid to lie down, always afraid of these spells.
“I remained at home for a couple of weeks, but the spells continued. I then decided to try another doctor. This time a stomach specialist, and as might be expected he claimed my stomach was the cause of my disturbances. The news was gratifying to me. I knew that stomach troubles could be cured, and the thought helped to quiet some of the fears. I went back to work after a few weeks. The belief in the efficacy of the drug enabled me to get down town to work, but I kept on having spells, losing weight, and feeling miserable.
“I decided to try another physician. This time a nerve specialist. After examination he diagnosed the case as nervous prostration. He gave me what he called a good nerve tonic. In addition to it he used to stripe my back with red hot instruments. I was under this doctor’s care for about a year. I kept on going to work whenever I could, but the spells continued right along, at home in the night, or at work in the daytime. After a year of treatment I felt no better.
“I decided to try another nerve specialist,—his diagnosis was depletion of the nerves. He advised me to come in a couple of times a week for electric treatment. I followed instructions for a couple of months, but the spells continued just the same.
“One April day there was an electric storm. The lightning caused in me a great dread and fear. The wind broke some of the windows in our house. I had then the worst spell. I lost consciousness. When I awoke I was worse than ever. I was just choked up with tear of everything and everybody.
“I found I could no longer live in C., for the last bit of life was ebbing right out of me. I started on the train for Los Angeles. No one can realize the suffering I had to endure on my trip out West.