“Well, suh,” the colonel began, speaking gravely and with much consideration, as if he were indeed to deliver the judgment of his party’s convention. “Pehsonally, I’d like to see a Southe’n gentleman, of cou’se. But that reminds me of an old friend of mine, who came down to see me ’long in the spring of seventy-six to ask that same question, suh. You all remembah that the’ was a good deal of discussion goin’ on in ouah pahty that yeah about ouah p’ospective candidate. The friend to whom I refeh was an old fellah who lived neah mah place, and he always came ovah to see me whenevah I got home f’om Washington, in o’deh to discuss the political issues of the day. I received him, and we sat down on the po’ch, and aftah I’d called mah house niggah to make us some juleps—I wish, suhs, we had those juleps heah to-day, though I do not wish to dispa’age the liquah ouah landlo’d se’ves heah, not at all, suhs.” He inclined his head apologetically toward the bar. “I had known this old man fo’ a long pe’iod of tahm. He was a po’ fahmah, but—he rode in mah troop.”
The colonel paused again, that the company might have time to appreciate the paternal relation of officer and man who had ridden with Morgan’s Raiders, and then went on:
“I rehea’sed the names of seve’al of the distinguished gentlemen whose names had been brought fo’wahd by theah friends fo’ the high office. The’ was Tilden, and Seymoah, and Bayahd, and Thu’man, and othahs you’ll remembuh, but none of them seemed somehow to impress the ol’ fellah favo’ably. No, suh, none of the names seemed to impress the ol’ fellah favo’ably, till at las’, I added: ‘And then, theah’s some mention of Davis,’ meaning the distinguished ju’ist of yoah state, suh,” the colonel explained, bowing to Garwood, who, as if expressly deputed thereto by the governor of Illinois, bowed the acknowledgment that seemed to be due the honor thus conferred upon that commonwealth.
“At the magic name of Davis, the po’ ol’ man’s eyes lit up with Promethean fiah,” the colonel continued, his own little eyes sparkling, “and, leaning fo’wahd, trembling like an aspen leaf, with the delight he was almost afraid to indulge, he looked cahfully all about him, and took his long seegah from his lips, and then he whispehed: ‘But, Colonel, ain’t yo’ all afeahed it’s a leetle airly?’
“And so, suhs,” the colonel resumed, having bent his purple face to sip his julep and to give his companions opportunity to pay his story the tribute of the laugh he demanded, “I feah in this instance, suhs, it’s a leetle airly fo’ a Southron.
“But, se’iously, suhs,” the colonel went on, after a proper pause, “I’m goin’ back to Kentucky the end of this month. I’ll go ovah to Frankfo’t, and I’ll go to the Capitol Hotel, and theah I’ll meet the friends of mah own state, and aftah that, I’ll have some idea of whom I shall suppoht when we all get up to Chicago.”
“Like to get over to Frankfort, don’t you, Colonel?” asked Conley of Ohio, in the bald way that men had of inducing the colonel to talk about Kentucky.
“Well, suh, yes, suh, in a ce’tain sense I dew. It’s ve’y pleasant to’ a gentleman to meet all his old friends and comrades in ahms, as I do theah, but I will say this, suhs, that theah is at Frankfo’t an aggregation of men who seemingly fo’ ages have been hanging onto the public teat theah, suhs, and who, if the good Lawd would see fit to snatch them to his bosom, would be the subjects of a special dispensation of divahn Providence in which I could acquiesce, suhs, with an enthusiasm that would be tuhbulent and even riotous.”
After this the colonel, feeling that politeness demanded the elimination of himself from his conversation, temporarily at least, turned to Garwood and said:
“Have you got a contes’ on in yoah district this yeah, Colonel?”