ALGERNON: There's some hellish mystery here!
BIRDIE: You can search me.
ALGERNON: (Sees GLADYS.) Aha! Now will you sign those papers?
GLADYS: Never. (Bus.) I'll sign nothing. (Down R.)
ALGERNON: (Takes carrot from his hip pocket.) You won't? There, curse you, take that. (Hits her in neck with carrot.)
GLADYS: In the neck! In the neck, where I always get it!
ALGERNON: (Center.) Quick, Birdie, seize the child and run.
BIRDIE: (Left, looks scornfully at PHONSIE.) You've got your nerve.
He weighs a ton!!
PHONSIE: Oh! She's going to kidnap me!! Assistance!!
ALGERNON: Silence!! Enough!! (To GLADYS.) I have just come from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.