MRS. SCHUYLER: Save me? You could! If there was one among you brave enough to say: "I am the only guy here ever loved your wife. Kill me, but don't cut her allowance."
MEN: (Going up stage.) Excuse me! (Waiter enters with straws in glass, from arbor.)
MRS. SCHUYLER: Ah—straws—the very thing—gentlemen. (Takes them out of glasses.) Come—choose—whoever has the shortest straw is to show his courage and die for me—who is it? Who is it? (PHIL enters—they see him—drop straws—and seize him.)
PAUL: Phil!
MEN: Ah! Welcome to our city. Welcome! Welcome!
PHIL: Is there any little thing I can do for you?
MRS. SCHUYLER: Yes. My husband will be here at any moment to kill these gentlemen and divorce me. You can save us all by saying you are the only old sweetheart of mine here.
PHIL: Excuse me!
MRS. SCHUYLER: Oh, Benchie! Think of your bench days when I used to sit on you—
PHIL: If you'd only sit on me now, I'd feel safer—