“May I go off duty, sir?” Johnny asked, and walked stiffly to his room when I answered, “Sure.”
After a while, Ma and I turned in. Awhile after that we heard noises. I got up to investigate, and investigated.
I came back grinning. “Everything’s okay, Ma,” I said. “It’s Johnny Lane and he’s as drunk as a hoot owl!” And I slapped Ma playfully on the fanny.
“Ouch, you old fool,” she sniffed. “I’m sore there from the curb disappearing from under me. And what’ s wonderful about Johnny getting drunk? You aren’t, are you?”
“No,” I admitted, regretfully perhaps. “But, Ma, he told me to go to blazes. And without saluting. Me, the owner of the ship.”
Ma just looked at me. Sometimes women are smart, but sometimes they’re pretty dumb.
“Listen, he isn’t going to keep on getting drunk,” I said. “This is an occasion. Can’t you see what happened to his pride and dignity?”
“You mean because he—”
“Because he fell in love with the thought-projection of a cockroach,” I pointed out. “Or anyway he thought he did. He has to get drunk once to forget that, and from now on, after he sobers up, he’s going to be human. I’ll bet on it, any odds. And I’ll bet too that once he’s human, he’s going to see Ellen and realize how pretty she is. I’ll bet he’s head-over-heels before we get back to Earth. I’ll get a bottle and we’ll drink a toast on it. To Nothing Sirius!”
And for once I was right. Johnny and Ellen were engaged before we got near enough to Earth to start decelerating.