He repeated his question; and George—who, although he did not wish to be ranked with the “little ones,” yet feared that the learned man might consider him equally ignorant if he did not speak—rose prepared to give a precise and lengthy definition.
This strikes the key-note to the Sages character.
But a mischievous little gum-chewer, who doubtless could have answered with tolerable correctness, if he had chosen to do so, forestalled him by shouting, at the top of his voice: “Burnt matches and water, Sir!”
Now, it is probable that the juveniles had a chaotic idea of the signification of the word, though unable to define it; and as the youngster just cited was generally correct in his answers, they jumped to the conclusion that he was correct this time; therefore, with a deafening shout, some fifty “little ones” yelled: “BURNT MATCHES and WATER, SIR!!!”
Poor Teacher Meadows! The emotions with which his bosom glowed, were written on his face; and he hitched uneasily in his seat, with that look of grave displeasure supposed to be peculiar to aggrieved persons.
The professor, probably seasoned to such rebuffs, soon recovered his equanimity, and turning to the older scholars, asked, “Cannot you give me a satisfactory answer? Come! Anyone! What is hydrophobia?”
Again an answer quivered on Georges lips; but now Charles forestalled him. Taking his cue from the gum-chewer, Charley said, “Excuse me, sir, but you addressed the little folk, and we, quite politely, left it for them to answer. We know what it means, sir. Hysterphostia is a sort of influenza that yellow dogs catch when they’re fed on too much picnic victuals and spoilt molasses. Then they’re turned loose, with tin cans on their tails, for policemen to shoot at; and everybody that sees them rushing along the street is sure to inhale quinine hyster—”
At this point the speaker’s voice was drowned by roars of laughter from the astonished and delighted boys and girls, and he sat down “amid thunders of applause.”
They, at least, appreciated his absurd reply, his pretended ignorance, and his unblushing effrontery in thus wantonly insulting the august professor. They had evidently taken a dislike to the scientific gentleman, who was altogether too knowing for them, and, idiot-like, rejoiced to see him thus grossly insulted.
The teacher looked stern and furious, and endeavored in vain to stop the hubbub. Was his noble patron to be thus shamefully treated by a mob of ignorant and good-for-nothing school-children, supposed to be under his training and control? Must not the offenders be made to smart for it?