"I got him off the bed, pawed around till I found the clock between the mattresses, and then stopped it. Hartwick offered me three times what it was worth if I'd let him use his baseball bat on it. I told him it seemed to be a very willing and industrious alarm clock, and it was mine. I warned him to injure it at his peril. Since then I have learned how to stop it so it will stay stopped, but it barely commences to rattle at daybreak when I feel Hartwick's feet strike me in the small of the back, and I land sprawling on the floor. That explains how I succeed in getting up at daybreak."
"You started in to tell us what you found this morning," said Punch Swallows, to Browning, lighting a fresh cigarette.
"So I did, and the alarm clock ran me off the trail. Well, I got up this morning as usual—when Hartwick kicked me out to stop the clock. I went out for my walk and crossed the campus. What do you think I found?"
"A diamond ring. We'll all have ale."
"Oh, no, Tad, it wasn't a diamond ring. I noticed something stuck up on one of the trees. It was a big sheet of paper, and on it was skillfully lettered these words:
"'Bruce Browning will wear a new set of false teeth to chapel to-morrow morning.'"
Browning stopped and looked around. He was very proud of his even, regular, white teeth. They were so perfect that they might be taken for "store teeth" at first glance, but a second look would show they were natural.
The sophs laughed, and Bruce looked indignant.
"That caused me to look still further," he went on, "and I soon found another sheet upon another tree. This is what I read:
"'Conundrum. Why is King Browning a great electrician? Because all his clothes are charged.'