“Why do you mix up in this, Wiley?” he demanded sternly. “It was not your quarrel.”
“If I have offended by my impulsive and impetuous demeanor, I entreat pardon,” said the sailor. “When the gent bumped me and I saw that he had been scientifically ejected by you, I couldn’t resist the temptation to give him another gentle boost.”
“And by doing so you may find yourself in a peck of trouble,” said Frank. “That man has power and influence, and he will try to make good his threat, which you heard. He is a money king.”
“What is money?” loftily returned Wiley. “I scorn the filthy stuff. But, regardless of his money, it seems to me that you unhesitatingly elevated his anatomy with the toe of your boot.”
“It was my quarrel, Wiley; and there is no reason why you should pitch in.”
“My dear comrade, I ever feel it my duty to stand by my friends, and your quarrel in some degree must be mine. I inferred that in some manner he offended you most copiously.”
“He did arouse my ire,” admitted Merry, as he walked back to his room, followed by the sailor. “But he is the sort of a man who will seek to make good his threat and place us behind bars.”
“It will not be the first time your humble servant has lingered in endurance vile. In connection with that, I might mention another little nannygoat. On the last occasion when I indulged too freely in Western jag juice I was living in regal splendor in one of those hotels where they have lots of furniture and little to eat. I started out to put a red stripe on the city, and somewhere during my cruise I lost my bearings. I didn’t seem to remember much of anything after that until I awoke with my throat feeling as dry as the desert of Sahara and my head splitting.
“Just where I was I couldn’t tell. I had some vague remembrance of whooping things up in glorious style, and knew I had been hitting the redeye. In a somewhat dormant condition I stretched my hands above my head, and, to my horror, they encountered iron bars. This aroused me slightly, and I looked in that direction and beheld before me, to my unutterable dismay, the bars I had touched. ‘Cap’n,’ says I, ‘you have again collided with the blue-coated guardians of the peace, and you are pinched.’
“I noted, however, that these iron bars seemed somewhat frail and slender, and it struck me that my colossal strength might be able to bend them. With the thought of escape, I wrenched the bars apart and thrust my head between them. By vigorous pushing I injected my shoulders, but there I stuck. In spite of all my desperate efforts, I could not crawl through, and I finally discovered that I couldn’t get back. I floundered and kicked a while and then gave it up and yelled for help. My cries finally brought some one, who entered the place and dragged me from the trap, at the same time nearly shaving off my left ear with one of the bars. My rescuer proved to be a hotel attendant, who asked me, in no small astonishment, what I was trying to do. Then, to my inexpressible relief, on sitting up and looking round, I found that I was in my own room at the hotel, where I had somehow landed, and that my delusion had led me to endeavor to escape from limbo by crawling through the bars at the head of my iron bedstead. I gave the attendant who had dragged me out seven thousand dollars and pledged him to eternal silence. This is the first time my lips have ever betrayed the tale to mortal ears.”