“Don’t forget that to-morrow is the first day of April, cap’n.”
He seared me with a look of scorn, and vanished.
I did not set eyes upon him again for more than two months, but, as he frequently absented himself for more or less protracted periods, I thought nothing of it. When he did turn up again I had quite forgotten about his threat to write his autobiography, and I don’t think I ever mentioned it to him. Some months later he met with that sad and terrible accident which brought his really adventurous life to a tragic termination.
Recently, in looking through a trunk in which were stowed some of the cap’n’s effects, a relative discovered a huge bundle of foolscap paper carefully tied up with ribbons made of cigar bands taken from my own cigars on various visits of Walter to my den. The paper was covered with writing, almost undecipherable in its hasty scrawl, which told that the penman had dashed off every line at fever heat. It proved to be the autobiography, and was given into my hands.
I have edited it with some pains, being at times compelled to use the blue pencil freely, and to tone down in many places the cap’n’s flamboyant style.
Burt L. Standish.
CHAPTER I.
ITCHING FOR ADVENTURE.
I was a beautiful baby, even though, like most babies, I was born without any hair or teeth to speak of; and if I had had them I probably wouldn’t have spoken of them at the time, which I offer as absolute proof of my natural modesty. I was also a most precocious baby, absolutely remarkable, in evidence of which I will state that at the age of six months I was distinctly heard to say “boo” and “oog.”
On hearing these pearls of intelligence and wisdom fall from my rosebud lips my mother became quite convinced that I was doomed to a wonderful career as a statesman, a diplomap, or a street-car conductor. Chauffeurs were not in vogue at the time.
It may be well to skim over the days of my childhood and early youth, and plunge at once into the seething vortext of adventures which befell me when, at the tender age of sweet sixteen, I fared forth with an eager heart, and a father’s good riddance, to face the world and grapple with fortune. Perhaps it is not strictly accurate to say that I fared forth, as, not having the necessary wampum with which to pay my fare by rail, I locomoted per Shank’s mare.