LETTER TO DON BERNARD DE MENDOÇA.
"My very dear Friend,--As I have always known you to be zealous in God's cause, and interested in my welfare and deliverance from captivity, I have likewise also always made you a sharer in all my intentions for the same cause, begging you to signify them to the king, Monsieur my good brother, for which at present, according to the little leisure I have, I have wished to send you this last adieu, being resolved to receive the death-stroke which was announced to me last Saturday.
"I know not when or in what manner, but at least you can feel assured and praise God for me that, by His grace, I had the courage to receive this very unjust sentence of the heretics with contentment for the honour which I esteem it to be to me to shed my blood at the demand of the enemies of His Church; whilst they honour me so much as to say that theirs cannot exist if I live; and the other point they affirm to be that their Queen cannot reign in security, for the same reason. In both these 'conditions' I, without contradicting them, accepted the honour they were so anxious to confer upon me, as very zealous in the Catholic religion, for which I had publicly offered my life; and as to the other matter, although I had made no attempt or taken any action to remove her who was in the place, still as they reproached me with what is my right, and is so considered by all Catholics, as they say, I did not wish to contradict them, leaving it to them to judge. But they, becoming angry in consequence of this, told me that, do what I would, I should not die for religion, but for having wished to have their Queen murdered, which I denied to them as being very false, as I never attempted anything of the kind, but left it to God and the Church to settle everything for this island regarding religion and what depends upon it.
"This bearer has promised me to relate to you how rigorously I have been treated by this people, and ill served by others, who I could wish had not so much shown their fear of death in so just a quarrel, or their inordinate passions. Whereas from me they only obtained the avowal that I was a free queen, Catholic, obedient to the Church, and that for my deliverance I was obliged--having tried for it by good means without being able to obtain it--to procure it by the means which were offered to me, without approving (all the means employed).
"Nau has confessed all, Curle following his example, and all is thrown on me. They threaten me if I do not ask for pardon, but I say that, as they have already destined me to death, they may proceed in their injustice, hoping that God will recompense me in the other world. And through spite because I will not thus confess, they came the day before yesterday, Monday, to remove my dais, saying that I was no longer anything but a dead woman without any dignity.
"They are working in my hall; I think they are making a scaffold to make me play the last scene of the tragedy. I die in a good quarrel, and happy at having given up my rights to the king, your Master. I have said that if my son does not return to the bosom of the Church, I confess I know no princes more worthy or more suitable, for the protection of the island. I have written as much to His Holiness, and I beg you to certify to him that I die in this same wish, that I have written to you, and to him (you) know who is his near relative and old friend, and to a fourth who, above all others, I leave under the protection of the king, and require him, in the name of God, not to abandon them; and I beg them to serve him in my place. I cannot write to them. Salute them for me, and all of you pray God for my soul.
"I have asked for a priest, but do not know if I shall have one; they offered me one of their bishops. I utterly refused him. Believe what this bearer tells you, and these two poor women[#] who have been the nearest to me. They will tell you the truth. I beg of you to publish it, as I fear others will make it sound quite differently. Give orders that payment be made where you know of, for the discharge of my conscience; and may the churches of Spain keep me in remembrance in their prayers. Keep this bearer's secret; he has been a faithful valet to me.
[#] Jane Kennedy and Elizabeth Curle.
"May God give you a happy life. You will receive a token from me, of a diamond, which I valued as being that with which the late Duke of Norfolk[#] pledged me his faith, and which I have nearly always worn. Keep it for love of me.
[#] Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk and Premier Peer of England, had been chairman of the Conference to which Mary's dispute with the rebels had been submitted in 1568. At that time, encouraged by many prominent members of the English nobility, he formed the design of marrying the Queen of Scots. He was betrayed to Elizabeth by the Regent Moray, to whom he had confided his plans. After a term of nine months in the Tower, he was set at liberty. Resuming negotiations with Mary and her friends, he was again betrayed--this time by his secretary--and being convicted of treasonable practices, was put to death.