Upon my return to Port Moresby and having reported myself to the Acting Administrator, Sir Francis Winter, I was told that the Government Secretary had a minute from the Governor for me; Sir George was away in Brisbane at the time. I went to Mr. Musgrave, and was handed a minute to this effect. “Certain deserting carriers from the Russell relief expedition have complained about being beaten with sticks by Mr. Monckton and his police. Mr. Monckton to report.” “Well, I’m damned!” I thought, “the whole of this expedition has been a mess and a muddle from the beginning; a scapegoat is wanted, and I’m to fill that rôle!” Then in a fury of rage I went for Muzzy. “I told you from the beginning, sir, that the relief expedition was badly arranged; I begged you to give me twenty constabulary, forty good carriers, and to let me go my own way. Instead of which, I was compelled to carry out the most asinine arrangements, and to ‘induce’ a lot of disgusted and worn-out carriers to do work for which they were utterly unfitted. Hold your inquiry. I myself never hit a carrier; and the police certainly did not hit the beggars with sticks when they tried to bolt, they used steel cleaning rods.” Muzzy held up his hand. “Mr. Monckton, will you be quiet? You say you did not hit any man with a stick?” “Yes, sir,” was my answer. “And also that your police did not hit them with sticks?” “They did not,” I said, “they had no time to cut sticks; they hit the carriers, when they gave trouble, with their cleaning rods.” “I don’t want to know anything about that,” said Muzzy. “You deny absolutely that any carrier was beaten, either by yourself or your police, with sticks?” “Yes, sir, I do,” was my reply. “Call up the carriers I have brought back, and ask them whether they are not contented men.” Muzzy called up my meat-gorged men, who were then pleasantly anticipating their pay; of course they swore that I and my police were the best of good people. I then thanked my stars that on the way back I had stopped and hunted to fill the bellies of those carriers, otherwise a different tale would have been told.
Later, when I knew the complete details of Russell’s expedition and of Ballantine’s failure to relieve him, I learnt that the whole muddle was really due to Russell, having disobeyed orders, thereby throwing out all arrangements. Sir George Le Hunte had directed him to proceed to the summit of the Owen Stanley Range, but no further. Russell, however, being a keen hydrographer, had, at the imminent risk of his own and his men’s lives, descended upon the opposite side, and got into difficulties; the magnificent work he did saved him from censure or blame; but, as a matter of fact, he richly deserved the sack for attempting it. Russell afterwards showed me a letter from Sir George Le Hunte which began, “You dear disobedient person, I should be very angry with you, but instead, I can only feel pleased.” I made but one remark to Russell, and that was, “You thank your stars you are dealing with Sir George instead of Sir William MacGregor: for if you had disobeyed him, you would have had something to remember!”
I then received a note from Captain Barton asking me to take up my quarters at Government House, until the return of the Governor from Australia; he also told me that it had been decided by Council that the untouched part of the north-east coast of New Guinea was to be taken in hand, and that I was to be sent there as the first Resident Magistrate. “You will be glad,” naïvely remarked Captain Barton, “to have settled and permanent work.”
TWO MOTUAN GIRLS
CHAPTER XVI
Sir Francis Winter made me Assistant to Russell in the Survey Office, whilst awaiting the Governor’s return: I spent my time drawing maps and copying plans, and I also began a feud with the Government Store that lasted during the whole period of my service in New Guinea. Russell wanted about half a dozen tin-tacks for something or other, so I sent an orderly down to the Government Store with a note, asking Chester to give them to him; the boy came back saying that he could not get them. I went myself to the Store, and found Chester suffering from a bad attack of liver. “What’s the matter, Chester, why won’t you give me the tacks?” “Go to blazes,” said Chester, “and send me a proper requisition.” “Surely you are not going to put me to all that trouble for the sixteenth part of a penny?” I asked. “I am,” he said. I went back to the office and drew out a requisition for half a dozen tin-tacks, value one-sixteenth of a penny, and took it back again. “No good,” said Chester, “requisition for supplies for the Survey Department must be countersigned by the Government Secretary.” I said nothing, but wasted an hour in getting hold of the Government Secretary, who was engaged when I wanted him. “What tomfoolery is this, Mr. Monckton?” said Muzzy, as he glared at my requisition. “What do you mean by wasting my time like this?” “Chester has a liver and is full of red tape this morning; he won’t give me the tacks without a formal requisition,” I replied. Muzzy dashed his signature at the foot, and off I went again and handed the requisition to Chester without a word, though inwardly I was seething. “No good,” said Chester, “this requisition should have been signed by the head of the department requisitioning, not by you; Russell must sign it.” I took it back without a word, and went to Russell. “You are a damned fine assistant,” remarked that impatient individual; “do you want the whole day to get me half a dozen tin-tacks?” In lurid language I explained to him what had taken place, and Ballantine, hearing the fuss, came in and laughed at me. Russell signed the requisition, which I took, and went off again. Ballantine, who was chuckling to himself at some obscure joke, then said he would walk down to the Government Store with me to see the end of it.
Arrived there, I chucked the requisition at Chester with, “Now you attend to that at once, you blighter.” Chester took it, and Ballantine led him on one side and whispered to him. “I can’t accept this requisition,” said Chester. “Why?” I asked, hardly trusting myself to speak. “Because there is a Treasury Regulation that once the Government Secretary’s signature has been attached to a requisition, no addition or alteration shall be made without his previous approval. Russell’s signature is an addition.” Ballantine rolled over screaming with laughter. Again I took the requisition to Muzzy, and in a cold hard voice explained the position to him. He looked at my face, said not a word, and confirmed the alteration. Back I went to the Government Store, and again handed Chester the requisition, Ballantine still being there. “I can’t fulfil this,” said Chester. Boiling with indignation, I blurted out, “Why, you blank blank scrim-shanker? If you fool me any more, I’m going to the Administrator.” “Oh, go to him,” said Chester, “but if you use that language here, I’ll send for the police.” Off I bolted to Sir Francis; he listened to my heated complaint with his usual quiet smile, looked at the requisition and smiled again, then wrote across the form, “Government Storekeeper, fulfil this requisition at once. F. P. W., Administrator.” Back again I went to Chester. “Now, my beauty, you trot out my tin-tacks, unless you want to face an inquiry for disobeying orders.” Chester took the form and wrote across it, “Tin-tacks not in stock of Government Store.” Fortunately I was struck speechless, and before I recovered, Ballantine seized me by the arm and said, “Come along to lunch with me, Monckton; His Honour is coming, and I’m certain he will be pleased to hear the end of this.” As we went off to lunch, we met Russell also going to his. “Perhaps, Monckton,” said Russell, “when you have finished gallivanting about and amusing yourself, you won’t mind returning to your duties.” “Blank! Blank! Blank!” “Hush! Hush! Monckton,” said Ballantine; “Russell for the time being is your superior officer.”
In due course Sir George Le Hunte returned; and I was promptly appointed to the new North-Eastern Division, being, however, given three months’ leave of absence before I took up my new duties. Naturally, I decided to spend my three months away from New Guinea; I therefore arranged with Ballantine that he should send me out in his Custom’s boat to a steamer, that was to call off the Port with a mail, in the course of a few days.