“Well, now, Mr. Netherclift, was there ever a case in which you and your son appeared on opposite sides?”
Netherclift tried to evade the question, which, he complained, was an unfair one, but on being pressed was forced to admit that on a certain occasion he had given evidence on one side and his son upon the other.
Swift came the unanswerable retort, “How comes it then that two infallibles appeared on opposite sides?”
Netherclift’s dogmatic manner rendered him peculiarly liable to fall into traps like this, and many were the occasions on which he was found tripping.
Readers of Lord Brampton’s book will recall another amusing instance in which the expert was “put in a hole” by his opponent, who tells the story in these words: “When I rose to examine I handed to the expert six slips of paper, each of which was written in a different kind of handwriting.
“Netherclift took out his large pair of spectacles, magnifiers, which he always carried. Then he began to polish them with a great deal of care, saying as he performed that operation, ‘I see, Mr. Hawkins, what you are going to try to do—you want to put me in a hole.’ ‘I do, Mr. Netherclift, and if you are ready for the hole, tell me—were those six pieces of paper written by one hand about the same time?’
“He examined them carefully, and after a considerable time, answered: ‘No; they were written at different times, and by different hands.’
“‘By different persons, do you say?’”
“‘Yes, certainly.’”
“‘Now, Mr. Netherclift, you are in the hole! I wrote them myself this morning at this desk.’”