There is very little that is binding in the marriage state of these people, cohabitation with its duties being co-existent with mutual consent. So long as they like each other and are contented with their position, the couple remain together; but the absence of children, illness, old age, and many extremely trivial reasons are sufficient cause for separation.[160] The divorce is a matter for the two most concerned only; there are no public proceedings to take place, no ceremonies to undergo.[161]
Most of the adult members of the population have been married three or four times, a goodly number far more often. The children of the partnership, if young, go with the more influential of the parents; when older, they exercise an individual choice.[162]
From the nature of the marriage, the woman as often divorces her husband as vice versâ.
The natives as a race are monogamous, but now and again polygamy is found to occur. It is practised, however, only by the chiefs and more wealthy men, who live in their own houses, and can afford to domicile their wives in separate dwellings.[163]
Cases of adultery are punished by a fine, but there is no established amount. The village elders consult together as to what the seducer shall be mulcted of, and generally decide on a certain number of pigs, which are cut up and distributed among the community.[164]
There seems to be no objection to a girl having as many lovers as she likes before marriage, and altogether the state when entered upon is one that presses very lightly on the people. There are few unwritten laws on the subject, and public opinion is of hardly any weight.[165]
Courtship, like marriage, is merely a variation of the Malayan custom of nocturnal visiting, much simplified, however, by the absence of any ceremonies to mark its change into a more stable relationship.
When a man desires to marry a girl, he contracts a friendship with her family, assists her in her daily work, and sleeps for a time in whatever house she may occupy. During the night he seeks the girl, who will be sleeping among others, and by blowing on the burning end of a cigarette he obtains light enough to discriminate. The efforts of the man to embrace and caress her the girl withstands vigorously with blows and scratches, so that his face and chest are often torn and covered with blood. So things continue for several nights perhaps, the man suffering patiently the while, until, if she is willing to take him as a husband, she yields herself. This is their nuptials, and concludes the marriage.[166] Thenceforth, the man holds to his wife's house rather than his own family's, but often the parents will learn nothing for some time.[167]
Sometimes the girl makes the path of courtship less easy, by changing her sleeping-hut from night to night. This difficulty the lover generally overcomes by employing small boys to follow her about and inform him of her resting-place.
Occasionally the man, following the girl home at night after a dance, etc., will meet with an attempt at resistance on the part of the other women dwelling there, when he essays to enter the house she has chosen.[168]