A NEW FARCE IN ONE ACT,
After Shakespeare.
Scene.—A Room in Smith’s Hotel.
Characters.
- Tom Nailer, a FEELING Candidate.
- Isaac, one of the Old School.
- Spirits, a would-be Senator.
- Mayor, a willing instrument.
- Chartist Sam, an unpopular popular man.
- Bill, an American adventurer, lately returned from his travels.
- George Wesley, an eminent Brewer.
- Molley, a newly-appointed Justice.
- Lord Priory, a Deputy-Landlord (arriving late.)
- Waiter, listening through the hey-hole.
Enter ISAAC (musing) with the Standard paper in his hand.
Isaac. Gentlemen, I come no more to make you laugh, things that bear a weighty and serious brow, full of state and woe, such scenes as draw the eyes to tears, we now present. This paper tells me that the Queen hath now dismissed her faithless Parliament, once more to meet the public eye, and he whom we so lovingly raised to the honour, and safe keeping of our state and consciences, comes here again to seek our love, which he hath thus so shamefully abused. We must be up and doing, else the unmitigated errors of our former deeds will cloud the bright honour of our party. What say you friends to another Candidate for our purpose? (Yes! yes!! yes!!!)
Mayor (reading his speech.) Most willingly my friends I would obey the councils of our party, and having heard our friends speak highly of our worthy Tom, as one in whom the inmost secrets of our hearts and wishes may be safely hid; one that will our interests truly represent, despite the reasonings of the vulgar herd; one that will faithfully uphold our holy church against the Papal Powers and low dissent; one that has claim upon our love for long tried services and renown, and whose ambition is but laudably upright; this is the man in whom we can confide. I therefore do most thankfully propose him as our future Senator. (Immense cheering, clapping of hands, and stamping of feet.)
Isaac. This is the happiest moment of my life, the head and front of our noble house is thus most justly to attain his high rank in the bold field of senatorial fame. Oh! how toil of former years will thus recline upon laurels so nobly won; and our famed house, whose ancestors we can from yore bring down, will now be upward raised to honour, fame and senatorial power. I do my friends most cordially approve your choice.
Chartist. Most reverend, grave and noble gentlemen, I would intrude upon your presence, and a round unvarnished tale unfold, concerning him on whose behalf I am constrained to speak. Unkindly given to that Bending-Bow, whose bearing to my admonitions have been sadly coarse, and whose independence ill-becomes his place; his confidence I do now abjure, and leave him to his merited deserts. But, whilst my honoured friend Tom, whose mighty hand I have so often felt, stands high with us for Magistraterial worth, yet sadly he doth lack those senatorial powers which constitute the wisdom of our state. He whom I do now propose, so gentle he in Spirits, mild in speech, so clear in judgment, correct in our cause, so free from fetters, and unbiassed in mind; he can our cause uphold, and justly raise our state and interests to our wishes. I do therefore propose my friend Spirits as our future representative. (Immense murmuring.)