The Position of Woman in Primitive Society: A Study of the Matriarchy

by C. Gasquoine Hartley

It is hardly possible to exaggerate the esteem in which the tribal ancestress is held; she is so greatly reverenced that she may truly be said to be deified. In such worship rests the foundation of the deep tribal piety. Ka Iawbei, “the first mother,” has the foremost place of honour by her side, and acting as her agent is U Suid Nia, her brother. There is another fact to show the honour in which the female ideal is held. The flat memorial stones set up to perpetuate the memory of the dead are called after the mothers of the clan, while the standing stones ranged behind them are dedicated to the male kinsmen on the female side. These table stones are exceedingly interesting. They are exactly like the long stones and dolmens which are found in Brittany, in Ireland, in Galicia in Spain, and other parts of Europe. Is it possible that some of these memorials, whose history has been lost, were also set up to commemorate the mothers of tribes? But be this as it may, among the Khasis, where ancient custom and tradition have been preserved, goddesses are more important than gods. Almost all the other deities to whom propitiation is offered are female. Male personages also figure, and among them Thaulang, the husband, is revered.[75] Still the chief divinity rests in the goddesses; the gods are represented only in their relation to them. The powers of sickness and death are all female, and these are most frequently worshipped. Again, the protectors of the household are goddesses. I wish that I had space to write of their curious, yet beautiful, religious rites. The sacrifices are communal in character; they are offered in times of sickness and when dangers threaten the clan. Priestesses assist at all sacrifices and the male officiants act only as their agents. The household sacrifices are always performed by women.

Consider what this placing of their goddesses rather than their gods—of the priestess rather than priest—in the forefront of their worship signifies! Very plainly it reflects honour on the sex to which the supreme deities belong. We need no clearer proof of the high status of women among this people. Such customs are certainly survivals[76] from the time of a more primitive matriarchate, when the priestess was the agent for the performance of all religious ceremonies. In one state a priestess still performs the sacrifices on the appointment of a new Siem, or ruler. Another such survival is the High Priestess of Nongkrem, in the Synteng district, who “combines in her person sacerdotal and regal functions.” In this state the tradition runs that the first High Priestess was Ka Pah Synten, “the flower-lured one.” She was a beautiful maiden, who had her abode in a cave at Marai, near Nongkrem whence she was enticed by means of a flower. She was taken by her lover to be his bride, and she became not only the first High Priestess of Nongkrem, but also the mother of the Siems of Nongkrem.

It must be noted that the Siems or rulers of the states are always men. They are chosen from the eldest sister’s children. Possibly the case of the High Priestess of Nongkrem, who is the nominal head of the state, points to an earlier period of rule by women; but to-day the temporal power is delegated to one of her sons or nephews, who becomes the Siem. I need not labour this question overmuch; it is actualities I wish to deal with. As I have repeatedly said, there is no sure ground for believing that the maternal system involves rule by women. This may have happened in some cases, but I do not think that it can ever have been common. I am very certain, however, of the error in the view which accepts the subordination of women as the common condition among barbarous peoples, whereas there are indications and proofs in all directions of a more or less strong assertiveness on their part, and always in the direction of social unity and sexual regulation. The fact that the maternal system resulted in the limitation of the freedom of the male members of the family is, in my opinion, to be attributed to those powerful female qualities which exercised an immense influence on early societies. Regarding what has been said, I think it cannot be denied that while individual rights were of far more importance to the males, the idea of the family and social rights were, in their turn, essentially feminine sentiments. Thus it was in the women’s interest to consolidate the family, and by means of this their own power; and they succeeded in doing so to an extraordinary extent in primitive communities, without help of the maternal customs, which, as I have tried to make clear, arose out of the conditions of the primordial family and by the action of the united mothers. If I am right, then, here is the primary cause of the women’s position of authority in the communal maternal family.

I am very certain of the rights such a system conferred upon women; rights that are impossible under the patriarchal family, which involves the subordination of the woman to her father first and afterward to her husband. In proof of this let us now consider marriage and divorce, the laws of inheritance, and other customs of the Khasis. And first we may note that polygamy—the distinctive custom of the patriarchs—does not exist; as Mr. Gurdon remarks, “such a practice would not be in vogue among a people who observe the matriarchate.” This is the more remarkable as the Khasi women considerably outnumber the men. In 1901 there were 1118 females to 1000 males. At the present time the people are monandrists. There are instances of men having wives other than those they regularly marry, but the practice is not common. Such wives are called “stolen wives,” and their children are said “to be from the top,” i. e. from the branches of the clan and not the root. In the War country the children of the “stolen wife” enjoy an equal share in the father’s property with the children of the regular wife. Polyandry is said to be practised, but the fact is not mentioned by Mr. Gurdon; in any case it can prevail only among the poorer sort, with whom, too, it would often seem to mean rather facility of divorce than the simultaneous admission of plurality of husbands.[77]

The courtship customs of Khasi youths and maidens are simple and beautiful. The young people meet at the dances in the spring-time, when the girls choose their future husbands. There is no practice among the Khasis of exchange of daughters; and there is an entire absence of the patriarchal idea of their women as property. Marriage is a simple contract, unaccompanied by any ceremony.[78] After marriage the husband lives with his wife in her mother’s home. Of late years a new custom has arisen, and now in the Khasi tribe, when one or two children have been born, and if the marriage is a happy one, the couple frequently leave the family home, and set up housekeeping for themselves. When this is done, husband and wife pool their earnings for the support of the family. This is clearly a departure from the maternal marriage, a step in the direction of father-right. Among the Syntengs, the people who have most closely preserved the customs of the matriarchate, the husband does not even go to live with his wife, he only visits her in her mother’s home. In Jowáy this rule is so strict that the husband comes only after dark. He is not permitted to sleep, to eat, or smoke during his visit—the idea being that as none of his earnings go to support the home, he must not partake of food or any refreshment. Here is a curious instance of etiquette preserving these clandestine visits long after the time when such secrecy was necessary. We may note another survival among the Syntengs. The father is commonly called by the name of the first child, thus, the father of a child called Bobon, becomes Pa-bobon.[79] This does not, I am sure, point back to a period when paternity was uncertain, rather, it is an effort to establish the social relation of the father to the family, and is connected with domestic and property considerations, not at all with relationship. The proof of this will appear in a later chapter.

Very striking are the conditions attaching to divorce. Again we find the right of separation granted equally to both sexes, a significant indication of the high position of women. Marriage being regarded as an agreement between wife and husband, the tie may be broken without any question of disgrace. But although divorce is frequent and easy, and can be claimed for a variety of reasons, all who have dwelt among the Khasis testify to the durable and happy marriages among them. Only when they find it impossible to live amicably together do a couple agree to separate. In this event the children always remain with the mother. For their mothers the children cherish a very strong affection, for all their sympathies and affection bind them to her and her family.

The conditions of divorce vary in the separate tribes. Among the Khasis both parties must agree to the dissolution of the tie. With the Synteng and War tribes such mutual consent is not necessary, but the partner who claims release from the other, without his or her consent, must pay compensation. A woman cannot be divorced during pregnancy. The form of divorce is simple; among the Khasis it consists of the exchange of five cowries. This is done in the presence of witnesses, and the ceremony must take place in the open air. Then a crier goes around the village to proclaim the divorce, using the following words—

“Kaw—hear, oh villagers! that—U and K have been separated in the presence of the elders. Hei! thou, oh young men, canst go and make love to K—for she is now unmarried, and thou, oh maidens, canst make love to U—Hei! there is no let or hindrance from henceforth.”

And here I would pause, although it leads me a little aside, to make a point that to me seems to be of special importance. Obviously this simple divorce by mutual consent was made easy in its working by the maternal system. The great drawback to the dissolution of the marriage tie in the patriarchal family is the effect it has on the lives of the children; but in the maternal family such evil does not exist, for the children always live with the mother and take her name. By saying this, I do not wish to imply that I am necessarily recommending such a system, but that it had its advantages for the mother and her children, I think, cannot be denied. Its failure arises, as is evident, from the alien position of the father in relation to his children.

In the primitive maternal family the place of the father, to a great extent, is filled by the maternal uncle. Among the Khasis he is regarded in the light of a father. It is his duty to assist the mother in the management of the family. The husband is looked upon merely as u shong kha,[80] a begetter. Only by the later marriage custom, when the wife and children leave the home of her mother, has the father any recognised position in the home. “There is no gainsaying the fact,” writes Mr. Gurdon, “that the husband is a stranger in the wife’s home, and it is certain he can take no part in the rites and ceremonies of his wife’s family.”