THE FIVE PRINCIPAL ORDERS OF ETON, DOCTOR, DAME, COLLEGER, OPPIDAN, AND CAD. A SKETCH TAKEN OPPOSITE THE LONG WALK.
ETON DAMES*; AN ODE, NEITHER AMATORY,
ILL-NATURED, NOR PATHETIC.
Let Oxford beaux, to am'rous belles,
Love's warm epistles write;
Or Cambridge youths, in classic dells,
Invoke the shadowy night.
* The above jeu-d'esprit made its appearance on one of
those joyous occasions, when the sons of old Etona return
from Oxford and Cambridge, filled with filial regard for
early scenes and school-boy friendships, to commemorate a
college election. It was, at the time, purposely attributed
to some of these waggish visitors, a sort of privileged
race, who never fail of indulging in numerous good-humoured
freaks with the inhabitants of Eton, to show off to the
rising generation the pleasantries, whims, and improvements
of a college life. The subject is one of great delicacy, but
it will, I hope, be admitted by the merry dames themselves,
that my friend Bernard has in this, as in every other
instance, endeavoured to preserve the strongest traits of
truth and character, without indulging in offensive satire,
or departing from propriety and decorum.—Horatio Heartly.
Let Cockney poets boast their flames,
Of ' Vicked Cupit' patter:
Be mine a verse on Eton Dames—
A more substantial matter.
I care not if the Graces three
Have here withheld perfection:
Brown, black, or fair, the same to me,—
E'en age is no objection.
A pleasing squint, or but one eye,
Will do as well as any;
A mouth between a laugh and cry,
Or wrinkled, as my granny.
A hobbling gait, or a wooden leg,
Or locks of silvery gray;
Or name her Madge, or Poll, or Peg,
She still shall have my lay.
Perfection centres in the mind,
The gen'rous must acknowledge:
Then, Muse, be candid, just, and kind,
To Dames of Eton College.*
* The independent students, commonly called Oppidans, are
very numerous: they are boarded at private houses in the
environs of the college; the presiding masters and
mistresses of which have from time immemorial enjoyed the
title of Domine and Dame: the average number of
Oppidans is from three hundred to three hundred and fifty.