After inquiring who was to be my tutor, and finding I was not yet fixed in that particular, I was requested to construe one of the easiest passages in the Æneid; my next task was to read a few paragraphs of monkish Latin from a little white book, which I found contained the university statutes: having acquitted myself in this to the apparent satisfaction of the doctor, he next proceeded to give me his advice upon my future conduct and pursuits in the university; remarked that his old friend, my father, could not have selected a more unfortunate person to usher me into notice: that his habits were those of a recluse, and his associations confined almost within the walls of his own college; but that his good wishes for the son of an old friend and schoolfellow would, on this occasion, induce him to present me, in person, to the principal of Brazennose, of whom he took occasion to speak in the highest possible terms. Having ordered me a sandwich and a glass of wine for my refreshment, he left me to adjust his dress, preparatory to our visit to the dignitary. During his absence I employed the interval in amusing myself with a small octavo volume, entitled the "Oxford Spy:" the singular coincidence of the following extract according so completely with the previous remarks of the doctor, induced me to believe it was his production; but in this suspicion, I have since been informed, I was in error, the work being written by Shergold Boone, Esq. a young member of the university.
"Thus I remember, ere these scenes I saw,
But hope had drawn them, such as hope will draw,
A shrewd old man, on Isis' margin bred,
Smiled at my warmth, and shook his wig, and said:
'Youth will be sanguine, but before you go,
Learn these plain rules, and treasure, when you know.
Wisdom is innate in the gown and band;
Their wearers are the wisest of the land.
Science, except in Oxford, is a dream;
In all things heads of houses are supreme {9}
Proctors are perfect whosoe'er they be;
Logic is reason in epitome:
Examiners, like kings, can do no wrong;
All modern learning is not worth a song:
Passive obedience is the rule of right;
To argue or oppose is treason quite:{10}
Mere common sense would make the system fall:
Things are worth nothing; words are all in all."
On his return, the ancient glanced at the work I had been reading, and observing the passage I have just quoted, continued his remarks upon the discipline of the schools.—"In the new formed system of which we boast," said the master, "the philosophy which has enlightened the world is omitted or passed over in a superficial way, and the student is exercised in narrow and contracted rounds of education, in which his whole labour is consumed, and his whole time employed, with little improvement or useful knowledge. He has neither time nor inclination to attend the public lectures in the several departments of philosophy; nor is he qualified for that attendance. All that he does, or is required to do, is to prepare himself to pass through these contracted rounds; to write a theme, or point an epigram; but when he enters upon life, action, or profession, both the little go, and the great go, he will find to be a by go; for he will find that he has gone by the best part of useful and substantial learning;
9 Know all men by these presents, that children in the uni-
versities eat pap and go in leading strings till they are
fourscore. —Terro Filius.
10 In a work quaintly entitled "Phantasm of an University,"
there occurs this sweeping paragraph, written in the true
spirit of radical reform: "Great advantages might be
obtained by gradually transforming Christ Church into a
college of civil polity and languages; Magdalen, Queen's,
University, into colleges of moral philosophy; New and
Trinity into colleges of fine arts; and the five halls into
colleges of agriculture and manufactures."
or that it has gone by him: to recover which he must repair from this famous seat of learning to the institutions of the metropolis, or in the provincial towns. I have just given you these hints, that you may escape the errors of our system, and be enabled to avoid the pomp of learning which is without the power, and acquire the power of knowledge without the pomp." Here ended the lecture, and my venerable conductor and myself made the best of our way to pay our respects to the principal of my future residence.
Arrived here—the principal, a man of great dignity, received us with all due form, and appeared exceedingly pleased with the visit of my conductor; my introduction was much improved by a letter from the head master of Eton, who, I have no doubt, said more in my favour than I deserved. The appointment of a tutor was the next step, and for this purpose I was introduced to Mr. Jay, a smart-looking little man, very polite and very portly, with whom I retired to display my proficiency in classical knowledge, by a repetition of nearly the same passages in Homer and Virgil I had construed previously with the learned doctor; the next arrangement was the sending for a tailor, who quickly produced my academical robes and cap, in the which, I must confess, I at first felt rather awkward. I was now hurried to the vice-chancellor's house adjoining Pembroke college, where I had the honour of a presentation to that dignitary; a mild-looking man of small stature, with the most affable and graceful manners, dignified, and yet free from the slightest tinge of hauteur. His reception of my tutor was friendly and unembarrassing; his inquiries relative to myself directed solely to my proficiency in the classics, of which I had again to give some specimens; I was then directed to subscribe my name in a large folio album, which proved to contain the thirty-nine articles, not one sentence of which I had ever read; but it was too late for hesitation, and I remembered Tom Echo had informed me I should have to attest to a great deal of nonsense, which no one ever took the pains to understand. The remainder of this formal initiation was soon despatched: I separately abjured the damnable doctrines of the pope, swore allegiance to the king, and vowed to preserve the statutes and privileges of the society I was then admitted into; paid my appointed fees, made my bow to the vice-chancellor, and now concluded that the ceremony of the togati was all over: in this, however, I was mistaken; my tutor requesting some conference with me at his rooms, thither we proceeded, and arranged the plan of my future studies; then followed a few general hints relative to conduct, the most important of which was my obeisance to the dignitaries, by capping{11} whenever I met them; the importance of a strict attendance to the lectures of logic, mathematics, and divinity, to the certain number of twenty in each term; a regular list of the tradesmen whom I was requested to patronize; and, lastly, the entry of my name upon the college books and payment of the necessary caution money.{12} Entering keeps one term; but as rooms were vacant, I was fortunate in obtaining an immediate appointment. As the day was now far advanced, I deemed it better to return to my inn and dress for the dinner party at Christ Church.
11 Capping—by the students and under graduates is touching
the cap to the vice-chancollor, proctors, fellows, &c. when
passing. At Christ Church tradesmen and servants must walk
bareheaded through the quadrangle when the dean, canons,
censors, or tutors are present. At Pembroke this order is
rigidly enforced, even in wet weather. At Brazennose neither
servants nor tradesmen connected with the college are
allowed to enter it otherwise. It is not long since a
certain bookseller was discommoned for wearing his hat in B-
n-e quadrangle, and literally ruined in consequence.
12 Caution money—a sum of money deposited in the hands of
the treasurer or bursar by every member on his name being
entered upon the college books, as a security for the
payment of all bills and expenses contracted by him within
the walls of the college. This money is returned when the
party takes his degree or name off the books; and no man can
do either of these without receipts in full from the butler,
manciple, and cook of their respective colleges.
