The Society of Clement's Inn having had iron
bars put up at the entrance to prevent porters,
cattle, or other nuisances from coming in,—it
called forth the following lines from a "fat
single gentleman" to the principal and ancients.
Ye principal and ancient men, attend
To one of your unfortunate fat lodgers,
Whose studies make him lusty;—oh! befriend!
Or I shall surely call you ancient codgers.
'Tis true I came here, looking to the bar,
And hop'd to have a call some day unto it;
But at your entrance now there many are,
Indeed so many, that I can't get thro' it.
"I can't get out," as Sterne's poor starling said,
Unless I ask the porter to unlock it;
This must be alter'd, as I'm so well fed,
Or 'gainst my corpus you must strike a docket.
This may reduce me to a decent size,
And let me pass your cursed bars of iron;
Put up to keep us from the London cries,
Which now your sanctum sanctorum environ.
For if I can't be taken in, 'tis clear
I cannot be let out; and that gives trouble.
Ye principal and ancient men, oh! hear!
And let me pass the bar—I'm David Double.
ON A MR. HOMER'S BANKRUPTCY.
That Homer should a bankrupt be
Is not so very Odd-d'ye-see;
If it be true, as I am instructed,
So Ill-he-had his books conducted.
WALKING FOR LIFE.
On a Gentleman bringing on a severe fit of illness, by an excess in walking exercise, in order to preserve his health.
Prithee cease, my good friend, to expend thus your breath;
'Tis in vain these exertions you make:
And to "walk for your life" against sure-footed death,
Is the very "worst step you can take!"
A SPIRIT ABOVE AND A SPIRIT BELOW.
On a Methodist Chapel, the vaults under which were used as wine cellars:
There's a spirit above and a spirit below,
A spirit of joy and a spirit of woe:
The spirit above is a spirit divine;
The spirit below is a spirit of wine.
THE UPPER ROOMS AND THE OLD ROOMS, BATH.
Two musical parties to Bladud belong,
To delight the old rooms and the upper:
One gives to the ladies a supper, no song;
The other a song and no supper.