PUNS
FOR ALL PERSONS AND PURPOSES;
OR,
JOKES FOR EVERY DAY IN THE YEAR.
"Touch but his gunpowder wit with a merry fire, and
you shall instantly hear a good report."
"A punster's wit, what is it like?"
"The electric spark, from Merc'ry ta'en;"
"Or gunpowder," says merry Mike,
"Touch it, you bid adieu to pain."
PUNNING AT BACKGAMMON.
Two scholars of Brazen Nose College, Oxford, playing at backgammon, a third came in to size, that is, to obtrude for a dinner. The owner of the room throwing the dice, and addressing himself alternately to his visitors, said
"If I bate you an ace,
Deuce take me;
for it would be-tray a weakness
in a man who could not cater for himself.
Therefore sink me
if you do size."
A NEGATIVE PUN.
"I am happy, Ned, to hear the report that you have succeeded to a large landed property!" "And I am sorry, Tom, to tell you that it is groundless."