A JOE MUNDEN.
It being told the comedian, during his stay at Brighton, that Mrs. Coutts had offered five thousand pounds for Byam-House, Munden exclaimed, "My wigs and eyes! five thousand pounds to buy-a-mouse! What the devil will the woman do next?"
PARISIAN PUNS.
1. The Count de Sedan held that little state as a fief of the crown of France, of which he was in other respects a subject. Louis XIV. wishing to put his paw upon this domain, had the Count arrested and clapped into the Bastille, on a supposed charge of treason. The result was, that, in order to save his life, he gave up his possessions; on which the wits of Paris made this pun—"Il donnoit Sedan (ses dents) pour sauver sa tête."
2. Madame de Stael has been much admired for her handsome figure, and particularly her fine arm, but unfortunately disfigured by her deformed foot. Being in a gallery at Paris, where there was an empty pedestal, vain of her person, she mounted, and placed herself in an attitude to display her figure to advantage; but unluckily one of her feet peeped out. A wit approached, and seeming to look only at the pedestal, exclaimed, "O le vilain Pie-de-stal!"
3. Mons. St. Priest, who had been ambassador from the court of France to the Ottoman Porte, was afterwards sent, in a diplomatic capacity, to the Hague; but on account of some ceremonial being neglected, he refused to enter the gates of that place. This gave occasion to the wits of Paris to observe, that he was still "ambassadeur à la Porte."
COMMERCIAL PUNS.
FROM "TRAVELLER'S HALL," "English Spy."
"I don't see the bee's wing in this port, Mr. Blackstrap, that you are bouncing about," said a London traveller to a timber merchant. "No, sir," said the humourist, "it is not to be seen until you are a deal higher in spirits; the film of the wing is seldom discernible in such mahogany-coloured wine as this." "Sir, I blush like rose-wood at your impertinence." "Ay, sir, and you'll soon be as red as logwood, or as black as ebony, if you will but do justice to the bottle," was the reply. "There is no being cross-grained with you," said the timber-merchant. "Not unless you cut me," retorted Blackstrap, "and you are not sap enough for that." "Gentlemen," continued the facetious wine-merchant, "if we do not get a little fruit, I shall think we have not met with our dessert; and although there be some among us whose principals are worth a plum, there are very few of their representatives, I suspect, who will offer any objections to my reasons."
A COCKNEY'S PUN.
A Londoner told his friend that he was going to Margate for a change of hair; "You had better," said the other, "go to the wig-maker's shop."