Saturday, 30th June.—I have been for some days sick and ill with jaundice, arising from exposure and hard work, but am anxious not to give in. To-day I am advised however to do so, and to-morrow may see the last of me here as I go into hospital, and here I may say I remained till the 5th July when I was able to get up although as weak as a rat. I was advised by the doctor to run down to Durban to the warmer climate, so as I felt too weak to do anything else I had to ask the General for sixteen days' leave which he gave me. Thus on the 6th July after giving over my guns to Lieutenant Clutterbuck, I left Sandspruit in an empty open truck at 4 p.m., got down to Volksrust at dark, and met Reeves, R.S.O., who had had jaundice and who offered me a bed in his office, which I was delighted to have; also met again Captain Patch, R.A. We all dined together at the station and wasn't I ravenous! We all came to the conclusion that we were rather sick of campaigning if accompanied by jaundice and other ills of the flesh.
Saturday, 7th July.—At 8.30 a.m. went on by train to Ladysmith which I reached at 8 p.m., and got into Durban the next morning at 9 a.m. A lovely morning and a nice country covered with pretty gardens and flowers—such a change from that awfully dried up Northern Natal. I secured a room at the Marine Hotel, feeling ill and glad to get sleep and oblivion for a time.
Wednesday, 11th July.—The weather at Durban is lovely and I am already feeling better. Have met Nugent of the Thetis and Major Brazier Creagh, also down with jaundice. My letters have lately all gone wrong, but to-day I received a batch to my great delight.
And now I must perforce close this record of personal experiences, written perhaps more to amuse and satisfy myself than for the perusal of others; more especially as this being a personal Diary I have been obliged by force of circumstances to use the pronoun "I" more than I would otherwise wish. The war seems played out so far as one can judge. It appears to be becoming now a guerilla warfare of small actions and runaway fights at long ranges; these furnish of course no new experiences or discoveries to Naval gunners; in fact, the sameness of them is depressing, and what with marching, fighting, poor living, dysentery, and jaundice, I humbly confess that my martial zeal is at a much lower ebb than it was a year ago. Yet time may produce many changes and surprises, and I may yet find myself again at the front; who knows!
*****
Thursday, 26th July.—The quick return to health which the change to the warmth of Durban effected made me only too glad to get back to the front again with the object of "being in at the death." I travelled up as far as Ingogo with Captain Reed, R.A. (now a V.C.); thence on to Sandspruit, and on again in a Scotch cart, which Major Carney, R.A., M.C., lent me, to Grass Kop, a hill six miles off the station and some 6,000 feet high. Ugh! I shall never forget the drive and the jolting, and the sudden cold after Durban weather. Still I was able to rejoin my guns before dark, and to receive them over from Lieutenant Clutterbuck who had been sent to relieve me when I was obliged to leave the front. He fortunately had a share in taking this hill with the Dorsets when in command of my guns. With a whole battalion at first of Dorsets under Colonel Law (who had dug marvellous good trenches), and later on with three Companies of the South Lancashires, and after that two Companies of the Queen's (note the descending scale of numbers), we defend this position, monarchs of all we survey, and therefore bagging all we can get, not only of the numerous guinea fowl, partridge, and spring buck dwelling on its sides and in its ravines, but also, it must be confessed, of the tamer and tougher bipeds from surrounding farms that were nearly all deserted by their owners. For many weeks we had a great deal of fun in our little shooting expeditions. Major Adams of the Lancashires, a keen sportsman, was always sighting game through his binoculars as he was going on his constant patrols round the defences, and he allowed the rest of us to shoot when able. Thus in the midst of our work we had many a jolly hour in those occasional expeditions close to our lines; one day we made a large bag of geese and started a farmyard just in front of our guns on a small nek, giving our friends the geese a chance of emulating the deeds of their ancestors at the Roman Capitol; for who can tell whether they may not yet save Grass Kop if our friends the Boers are game enough to attack.
Sunday, 12th August.—The gales of wind up here are something awful. This evening as we were toasting the "Grouse" at home, a furious blast blew down and split up my own tent and that of others, although fortunately we had a refuge in the mess-house which the Dorsets had made by digging a deep hole roofed over with tin; here we are fairly comfortable and have stocked this splendid apartment with Boer furniture, including a small organ. Our evenings with the South Lancashires in this mess-house have been as merry as we could make them, and our president, Major Adams, whom we all like, occasionally fires off a tune on the organ which he plays beautifully such as it is. The Volunteers with us are to be seen at all times sitting on the side of the hill surveying the country through their binoculars and watching the movements of the enemy. Marking the interest which this being "able to see" gives men, I sincerely hope that in future wars each company of a regiment or of a battleship may be always supplied with a certain proportion of binoculars, or with small hand telescopes, for possible outpost duty.
Monday, 13th August.—General Hildyard rode up here and expressed himself much pleased with our trenches and defences. I had a talk with him about matters and he does not seem to anticipate a further advance of the 5th Division just yet. However, here we are, and the kop "has a fine healthy air," as the General who was quite blue with cold remarked. Neither my men nor self have had any letters for weeks, which is rather dreary for us; our mails are, no doubt, chasing the Commander-in-Chief at Ermelo. One feels a certain amount of pity for these Boers; they are, owing to their reckless and cunning leaders, in the position of a conquered race, and this position to such a people who are naturally proud, cunning and overbearing must be awful. One notices this much even among the few old men, boys and women who are left on the farms; they display a certain air of dejection and are even cringing till they see that they are not going to be robbed or hurt when their self-confidence soon reasserts itself. There is a typical old Boer farmer and his family living at the foot of Grass Kop; a few presents of coffee and sugar have made this family grateful and quite glad to see us; still one detects the cunning in their nature, and they don't hide for a moment that they wish the English anywhere but in their country. Poor people, they have one good point in their characters which is that they won't hear of anyone running down their President even although he has terribly sold them.
Wednesday, 15th August.—We have now watched two fights round the town of Amersfoort, about eighteen miles north of us. On the 7th General Buller occupied the place and we were all in readiness to defend our right flank if need be, but our friends the Boers bolted to Ermelo instead of coming our way. We were all rather annoyed at Grass Kop, however, to see a Boer laager with a dozen wagons, guns and ambulances inspan at almost the last moment and slip off under the very noses of our Cavalry who were drawn up in force under a long ridge, doing nothing for an hour at least. This is all the more vexing because for a fortnight or more we had sent in accurate reports as to this very laager which a single flank movement of the Cavalry would have easily taken en bloc, instead of which they paid no attention to our heliograph from Major Adams to "hurry up and at them." These frontal attacks on towns without flanking movements seem to be absurd, as the enemy and his guns invariably get away under our noses. To-day General Buller occupied Ermelo, but as ill-luck will have it the commandos which split up before him have come south-east and are giving trouble on the Natal border.
Friday, 24th August.—The winter is slipping away, and to-day I am writing in one of those horrible north-west gales of wind which knock our tents into shreds and whirl round us dust as thick as pea-soup. Our kop life is becoming a little monotonous but we manage to get on.