“When I had a mind to relax from this occupation, and particularly if my finances were at a low ebb, I frequently resorted to the Blue Lion, in Gray’s Inn Lane, a house noted for selling fine ale, and crowded every night by a motley assemblage of visitors, among whom were many thieves, sharpers, and other desperate characters, with their doxies. I was introduced to this house (from which hundreds of young persons may date their ruin) by a fellow-clerk, who appeared to have a personal intimacy with most of these obnoxious persons; however, though I listened eagerly to their conversation, (part of which was then unintelligible to me,) and fancied them people of uncommon spirit, I was not yet sufficiently depraved to cultivate their acquaintance; but sat with a pipe in my mouth, enveloped in smoke, ruminating, like a philosopher, on the various characters who tread the great stage of life, and felt a sort of secret presentiment that I was myself born to undergo a more than common share of vicissitudes and disappointments.”
During his nightly resort to the Blue Lion he became acquainted with a young man named D——, who had been steward on board a king’s ship, but who had spent all his money, and had now resolved to go to Portsmouth, in the hope of procuring a situation similar to the one he had left. Vaux, naturally inconstant, determined on accompanying him; and, having converted most of their clothes into money, they set off on foot; but had not proceeded farther than Kingston when their cash became exhausted, and they owed a trifle to the mistress of the Eight Bells.
“In this dilemma,” says Vaux, “a sudden thought struck me. Calling for pen, ink, and paper, I told my companion I had a scheme in my head for raising a supply, but would not impart it until I had tried its success. I then drew up a sort of memorial to the following effect:—‘To the Ladies and Gentlemen of Kingston.—The writer hereof, a young man of respectable family, and good education, having, by a series of misfortunes, been reduced to the greatest distress, is now on his way to Portsmouth, in hopes of procuring a situation in the navy; but, being destitute of money for his present support, humbly solicits your charitable assistance towards enabling him to pursue his journey. To a noble mind, the pleasure of doing a good action is its own reward. The smallest donation will be gratefully received, and any lady or gentleman inclined to relieve the writer is earnestly requested to subscribe his or her name hereto.’—Having completed this production, I desired my friend to wait patiently for my return, and assured him I doubted not of bringing speedy relief. I now set out on my expedition, and immediately waited on Mr. Mayor, who was a grocer; but in this first essay I was unsuccessful. His worship declared he never encouraged applications of this sort from strangers; and desired me to go about my business. I, however, took the liberty of subscribing his name to my memorial, by way of sanction, and gave his charity credit for a donation of five shillings. Young as I was at that time, I well knew that example, in matters of this kind, goes a great way; and that many persons, without a grain of Christian benevolence in their composition, will give liberally from motives of ostentation, when they see that their neighbours have already contributed, and that their own names and donations will also be made public. I experienced the truth of this notion, for I was successful in almost every application I afterwards made. Having visited a number of genteel houses, with various success, I was on the point of returning, to impart my good luck to my companion, when, coming to a very handsome mansion-house in the suburbs of the town, I thought I ought not to omit calling, and a person at that moment passing by, I inquired whose residence it was, and which was the entrance to the premises; for the house was situated in the midst of a spacious pleasure-ground, remote from the high road, and, it being quite dusk, I had not observed any avenue by which I could gain access to it. I was informed that it was the residence of Lady W——; that a little further on I should perceive a door in the brick wall, which extended along the road-side; and that if I entered at that door, and proceeded in a straight direction, I should arrive at the servants’ hall; but my informer cautioned me to keep close to another wall on my left hand, which divided this avenue from the lawn in front of the mansion, because there was a very large and fierce dog at the upper end, but which, being chained up, could not reach me, if I followed the above directions. I thanked this obliging person, and immediately proceeded to the door described, which I entered, and walked cautiously, and not without some fear, by the wall-side, till I perceived, by the lights in the kitchen and out-offices, that I was near the premises.
“It was now very dark, and I was carefully exploring my way, my mind full of apprehensions at the thought of this terrible dog; when lo! at that instant, to my inexpressible consternation, the ferocious animal made a spring at me, and I gave myself up for dead. However, though he was certainly within a yard of me, he did me no mischief; but my alarm was so great, that, without knowing how or where to fly for refuge, I ran precipitately from the spot; and, when I recovered myself from the fright, found myself in the pleasure-ground in front of the mansion-house. It appeared that I had, without knowing, escaped through a door in the wall, which was open on my left hand at the moment I was alarmed by the dog. I was now more at a loss than ever, for I knew of no way to get out of the pleasure-ground except by the aforesaid door, and fear of the dog prevented my attempting that passage. After wandering about for a few minutes, I approached the mansion, and, going up to one of the parlour windows, which were very large, and on a level with the terrace before the house, I applied my eye to the glass, and discovered, through an aperture in the inside shutters, a numerous and splendid party of ladies and gentlemen at dinner. Having considered a moment, I determined on a very bold step, as I saw no alternative but remaining all night in the open air, exposed to the inclemency of the weather. Taking advantage of a pause in the company’s conversation, I tapped with my finger at the window, and immediately the whole party were struck with wonder. In the midst of their surprise I repeated my knock; and then, after several voices exclaiming ‘Good God! there is certainly somebody at the window,’ &c. a gentleman rose from the table, and, advancing towards me, opened first the shutters, and then the window itself, which might, in fact, be called a pair of folding-doors; and these being thrown back, I walked in with the most respectful air I could assume, and presented myself to the astonished company. Having bowed twice or thrice, and given time for their alarm to subside, I began to make my speech.
“Apologizing for my presumptuous intrusion, I stated in a concise manner the fright I had endured from the dog, my embarrassment at not being able to find means of egress from the pleasure-ground, and my having consequently taken the liberty of knocking at the window. I then presented my memorial, which was read in turn by most of the company, each of whom surveyed me with evident surprise. Having answered such queries as they thought proper to put to me, I was desired by the lady of the house to withdraw to the kitchen for a short time; and a servant was ordered to attend me thither. Here I had my story to repeat for the information of the domestics, who laughed heartily at the adventure of the dog, but afterwards seriously assured me that, had the animal not been chained, or had I approached within his reach, he would inevitably have torn me to pieces. The parlour dinner being over, and the dishes brought out, I was desired to fall to; and, being really hungry, I wanted no pressing, but selected from the variety of good things on the table a very fine buttock of beef, on which substantial fare I made a sumptuous meal. There was no scarcity of good malt liquor, and Lady W—— very kindly sent me out a pint of red port, with a particular injunction (which, by-the-by, was unnecessary) that I should eat and drink heartily.
“At length I was summoned to attend the company in the parlour; and her ladyship then expressing her concern for my misfortunes, and her anxious hope that I should speedily find an end to them, presented me with half a guinea. The rest of the party also said many handsome things, and the majority of them contributed to my relief. In addition to these favours, one of the gentlemen at the particular request of Lady W——, took the trouble to write a letter in my behalf to the captain of a man-of-war, supposed to be then lying at Portsmouth, entreating him to give me an appointment under him. Her ladyship, after obliging me to take another glass of wine, and repeating her sorrow for my distress, advised me to lose no time in prosecuting my journey, ordered a servant to conduct me to the door at which I had first entered her premises, and I took a respectful leave of this truly benevolent party.
“Returning to the Eight Bells, I imparted my adventures to my friend, who was, of course, much pleased at my success; for I had realised between four and five pounds. I found this begging scheme so productive, that I was in no hurry to pursue the Portsmouth speculation; and, as we were both satisfied with our present quarters, it was agreed that we should continue a few days longer in Kingston, in which time I proposed to follow up my success by making a regular circuit among the inhabitants, and I, in fact, determined to levy similar contributions in every town which lay in our route.
“It is to be observed that this idea of raising money was perfectly original in me, for at that time I had never heard of such a practice, but have since discovered that it is a very common expedient, and is called by those persons who live by such impositions, ‘the Letter Racket.’
“The following day I again sallied forth and met with equal success, visiting not only the houses of private persons, but even the respectable shopkeepers, &c.; and I may here state, once for all, that in the course of this as well as my subsequent speculations of the same nature, I met with various receptions according to the charitable or churlish dispositions of the people to whom I applied. Many pitied my case and cheerfully relieved me. Others expressed equal commiseration, but declined giving anything, either because ‘they never encouraged beggars,’ or ‘they had poor enough of their own to maintain.’ Some invited me into their parlours, treated me with excessive politeness, and obliged me to take refreshment at their own tables; and where there were any young ladies in the family, I was an object of particular solicitude, and the recital of my misfortunes drew many a sigh from their tender bosoms. Others desired me like the Mayor of Kingston to go about my business, and hinted that I ought to be sent to the house of correction as a vagrant. Sometimes the servants who admitted me refused to present my memorial, declaring that they had strict orders from their masters or mistresses never to trouble them on such an occasion. The donations I commonly received were from one shilling to five; sometimes, but rarely, I was presented with gold, particularly at the seats of the nobility and gentry; all which lying within a short distance of the road I travelled, I made a point of calling at; and for my information on this subject, I provided myself with a comprehensive ‘Book of Roads,’ in which those objects are correctly laid down. Some truly charitable persons, but whose means were limited, relieved me with sixpence, and of course I was bound to accept such a trifle with as much appearance of thankfulness as I would a larger sum; and frequently when I called at a farm-house by the road side, I have been compelled to take some cold meat or other eatables, which I afterwards bestowed upon the first more needy beggar I met on my way. It was my custom in general to travel on foot, making short stages, and putting up at a good inn in every town I entered, where I lived upon the best during my stay, and associated with London riders, and other respectable guests. When tired of walking. I availed myself of a passing stage-coach or return post-chaise; and my only equipage was a spare shirt, handkerchief, &c. which, with my ‘Book of Roads,’ I carried in a small bundle under my arm.”
On the evening of the second day, however, he was arrested and carried before the magistrates, charged as a rogue and vagabond. He referred the magistrates to one of his grandfather’s friends in London; and the inquiries there satisfying them, he was discharged out of custody on the second day of confinement, and hastened back to town, his companion having proceeded to Portsmouth. After spending one dissipated evening in London, he set out next day to Portsmouth; and, notwithstanding the check he had received three days earlier, he stopped in Kingston, and levied contributions, in the usual way, on the charitable inhabitants, avoiding, of course, that part of the town where he had been before. This practice he continued on the road, and after the payment of his expenses he still had 15l. in his pocket. On his reaching Portsmouth, his fervour for the navy cooled on his finding that his friend D—— had procured a situation as a merchant’s clerk, and he was, after some time, induced to enter into the service of an attorney. A short employment was quite sufficient to satisfy his industrious fit, and he soon quitted Portsmouth in disgust, and proceeded once more towards the great metropolis. There his good fortune threw before him an opportunity, which steadiness on his part only required to render most advantageous. Dining one day at the Saracen’s Head, Snow Hill, he entered into conversation with a gentleman named Kennedy, a surgeon in the navy, who, pleased with his manner and address, procured for him an appointment as midshipman on board the Astrea frigate. Delighted with the prospect of at length entering the navy, he wrote to his grandfather, who immediately furnished him with 100l. to purchase an outfit. On the voyage he became weary of his position as a midshipman, and the captain being in want of a clerk, he tendered his services and was accepted. At the conclusion of a long cruise in the northern latitudes, the vessel made for England; and on their arrival in the Thames, Vaux proceeded to London. He there met with a dashing Cyprian, and unmindful of the future, he remained with her until all his money was spent; and then he found that his vessel had sailed, carrying with her his clothes, books, and all the little property of which he was possessed. Now, driven to the greatest distress, he had recourse to the gaming-table, where for a short time he contrived, by associating with professed gamblers, to procure a precarious existence. But the summer approaching and dupes becoming fewer, he obtained by application to Messrs. Dalton and Edwards, King’s Bench Walk, a situation as clerk at one pound a week, with Mr. Dalton, a solicitor, of Bury St. Edmund’s. “Upon the whole,” says he, “this was one of the most agreeable employments I ever engaged in; and, had I prudently retained it for a few years, there is no doubt I should have met with the most liberal encouragement from my employer. But my natural inconstancy still prevailed; and I had been but a few weeks at Bury, before I grew tired of the country, and thought of nothing but returning to London, with such spoil as I could obtain from the credulity of the tradesmen in the town. With this view I bespoke clothes, boots, linen, and other articles at various shops, informing the parties that I should expect credit till the expiration of my quarter, to which, on account of the respectable gentleman I served, they readily consented. As soon as any of these goods were brought home, I immediately packed them up in small portable parcels, which I sent up to London by the coach, consigned to a pawnbroker with whom I was on intimate terms; desiring him to receive and keep them safe until he saw me. I also coached off, in the same clandestine manner, such of my own apparel, &c. as I had in my trunk, in which, to prevent discovery, I deposited stones or bricks to preserve its gravity. By these means I had nothing to impede my sudden departure, when rendered necessary by the arrival of the expected quarter-day.