Oh, I just put him off, sir, as you told me. I gave him an evasive answer.

Yes, but what did you say to him?

Oh, sure, he axed me if the boss was at home, and I said to him, was his grandmother a monkey?


There were some deficiencies in the early education of Mrs. Donahoe, but she never mentioned them or admitted their existence.

Will you sign your name here? said the young lawyer whom Mrs. Donahoe had asked to draw up a deed transferring a parcel of land to her daughter.

You sign it yoursilf an I’ll make me mark, said the old woman, quickly. Since me eyes gave out I’m not able to write a wurrd, young man.

How do you spell it? he asked, pen poised above the proper space.

Spell it what iver way you plaze, said Mrs. Donahoe, recklessly. Since I lost me teeth there’s not a wurrd in the wurrld I can spell.