New Girl—He says he’s the rent collector, ma’am.
Pompous Mistress—But, Hannah, we don’t pay rent.
New Girl—That’s what he says, ma’am.
Mrs. M.’s patience was much tried by a servant who had a habit of standing around with her mouth open. One day as the maid waited upon table, her mouth was open as usual, and her mistress giving her a severe look, said:
Mary, your mouth is open.
Yessum, replied Mary, I opened it.
An English sailor was watching a Chinaman who was placing a dish of rice by a grave.
When do you expect your friend to come out and eat that? the sailor asked.