Colonel Phil Thompson tells of the trials experienced by a friend of his who recently acquired a new stenographer. The dear little thing is a trifle weak in orthography but Thompson’s friend has been loath to call her down, in view of the fact that she tries so hard to please. He is too big-hearted to discharge the girl, for she needs the money; so he corrects the spelling.

Recently, however, he was forced to call her attention to the fact that in a letter of some seventy-five words, she had committed eight errors, among which was “fourty”.

My, my! exclaimed the friend. This won’t do, you know; I can’t stand for forty spelt this way!

The willing worker looked over his shoulder at the offending word; Gracious! she exclaimed, how careless of me! I left out the “gh,” didn’t I?


Ikey—I got into a fight last week, and a man kicked me in de synagogue.

Jakey—Ver is de synagogue?

Ikey—In de temple.